“Since there’s no help, come let us kiss and part.
Nay, I have done, you get no more of me;
And I am glad, yea glad with all my heart,
That thus so cleanly I myself can free.
Shake hands for ever, cancel all our vows,
And when we meet at any time again,
Be it not seen in either of our brows
That we one jot of former love retain.
Now at the last gasp of Love’s latest breath,
When, his pulse failing, Passion speechless lies;
When Faith is kneeling by his bed of death,
And Innocence is closing up his eyes—
Now, if thou wouldst, when all have given him over,
From death to life thou might’st him yet recover!” by Michael Drayton, Idea 61: Since There’s No Help, Come Let Us Kiss and Part
This is the story of a lonely breakdown in communication that this woman could hardly endure anymore. It was as if, to her husband, she hardly existed in their married world, save for her attending to her wifely duties to keep their house in order.
In a situation where your words are not being heard, as if you’re speaking to a wall, is it not better to be told that it’s all over?
This wife shared her story on Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole forum under the username u/throwaway2255w2, starting with the following details: “My husband has been ignoring me whenever I try to have a convo with him or tell him something important. He’d just sit and stare. Whenever I try to call him out on it, he’d disagree and say that he does pay attention. This has been going on for 2 months!”
OP finally lost her patience on her birthday when her husband took her out for dinner. She had been looking at the menu in discomfort due to their situation. Then, she told him, “I think I’m getting a headache.”
Her husband’s reply? The man said, “Go ahead, sweetheart; get whatever you want.”
Those words made OP blow her top. She confronted her husband about how he had been ignoring her and refusing to listen to the things she’d said. Her husband, as usual, tried to deny it. In anger, she stood up and walked out. He tried to make her return, but she went straight home.
OP ended her post with the following: “At home, he yelled about how I behaved in such a juvenile way and embarrassed him at the restaurant. He said I ruined my own birthday when I explained how he was basically ignoring me and told me he owes me jack shit. Now he’s expecting apologies. AITA for how I reacted?”
Well, there could be three reasons behind this man’s attitude: either he has already lost interest in his wife; he has a medical condition; or he has a serious problem that preoccupies his mind, something he doesn’t want to share with his wife because of possible grave consequences.
But the thing is secrets don’t resolve anything. If it’s a medical condition, he should see a doctor along with his wife so they can handle it together. If it’s a problem with his career or finances, he should still discuss it with his wife so they could help each other resolve it.
However, if someone else preoccupies his mind, his wife doesn’t deserve to be kept in the dark. Unless the two of them talk the matter over like husband and wife who still care about making their relationship work, this is just another marriage heading to Splitsville.Whizzco