You’re Jealous and Vindictive! Redditors Slam a Woman for Bringing Up Sister’s Addiction History

Alcohol and drug abuse destroy lives. But that life can be rebuilt if a person seeks help and gets guidance from a substance abuse treatment program.

According to Recovery at the Crossroads, there are five stages of addiction recovery. This Transtheoretical Model was created by Prochaska, DiClemente, and Norcross in 1983, which at the time was applied to stopping smoking addiction. However, further studies on mental health and substance use disorder treatment plans, they discovered that there were similar behavioral patterns as people progress toward full recovery.


These five stages are:

  1. Precontemplation: stage of denial
  2. Contemplation: stage of readiness to accept treatment, but still vulnerable due to awareness of the “benefits” they derive from substance abuse
  3. Preparation: stage of feeling an urgency to become sober and return to normalcy
  4. Action: stage of making a real commitment to change with counseling, a requisite to keep them on the right track
  5. Maintenance: stage of personal battle to fight against relapse, which may take from six months to five years to make the life’s changes permanent

Yes, it’s possible to recover from addiction. With help and support from caring members of society, a person can overcome this destructive vice and start anew.

Photo: Pexels/cottonbro studio

However, in this case of a former drug user, it’s her own sister who does not believe that she can change. This sister even published their story on Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole forum to inform the world how she tried her best to pull her sibling back to the dark cave where she thinks people like her with an ugly past belong.

With the username u/aita8374938, the original poster shared the following information: “My (29F) sister (26F) has just landed a job that she is seriously underqualified and unprepared for. It’s a senior position that means she would be in direct contact with highly vulnerable people.”

That was OP’s opinion regardless of the fact that her sister is already four years in recovery. And so, this was what OP did next after learning about her sister’s new job, as revealed in her post: “She has relapsed many times, and it is highly likely that she will again. She has also stolen from me and my husband in the past to fund her habit. My concern is that someone of her character should not be in a position of power over people and particularly those in vulnerable situations. [So] I sent an email to the company [just to] let them know what kind of person they are dealing with. I think it’s important for them to know the full story.”

Photo: Pexels/Mikhail Nilov

Whamm! Straight from her own sister who does not believe that her sibling who had abused substances in the past deserves another chance.

So, as expected, her sister called her up in anger. She accused OP of trying to destroy her life. She also told OP that she was just jealous because she would be earning more than her even though it’s OP who has a college degree. OP defended her action by claiming that it was only fair that her company should be able to determine if somebody like her sister with an unsavory past was qualified for the position.

What was the verdict of the AITA community?

They slammed her with great fury! Of all the people who would try to crush her sister due to her addiction history, it’s her own blood! Her own sibling who’s obviously seething with jealousy and vindictiveness.

Photo: Pexels/Timur Weber

As written by learnmanderson, “Hard YTA. This had zero effect on you. The company would have done a background check on your sister and would have already known about her history. On top of that, it’s not up to you who they decide is qualified. In fact, her struggles may have been the thing that got her the job because she knows what it’s like and can possibly even be that example to help keep others from following her path if they haven’t yet, or if they have, that these issues can be overcome. Sounds like you’re mad that your mom paid for rehab but not your wedding and that she may have done so if not for sis’s rehab. You are being petty for all the wrong reasons.”

EmeraldBlueZen also commented, “I 100% agree, but whew, I’d describe OP’s actions as way above petty. My god, the level of anger and bitterness and rage she must feel to betray her sis like this! AND it didn’t affect sis’s job anyway, thanks to the company recognizing that plenty of addicts recover and lead normal and even honorable lives. YTA of course.”

Photo: Pexels/Mikhail Nilov

Likewise, SelectionNeither452 reacted, “Exactly – jealousy & pettiness coming through strongly. So much for family support. YTA.”

These words from angelaheidt were also full of righteous anger in defense of OP’s sister: “YTA – rather than giving your sister a chance to turn her life around, you actively sabotaged her chance at a stable income in a position where she could potentially do a lot of good. People change and grow, mature and learn from their mistakes. Rather than give her the benefit of the doubt, you interfered.”

Yes, God continues to watch over OP’s sister, not letting her lose her new job and another chance to walk along the right path. Thank goodness some of us still believe in second chances.

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