We all need good friends.
But good friends are hard to find. People whom you can trust with your whole heart, whom you can depend on at all times, who will not judge you when you cry, and who are happier than you every time you meet your goals don’t come along every day.
Yes, there are characteristics that define a real friend. By knowing these qualities, you’ll be able to tell who among the people close to you are the real gems, and you’ll also learn how to be a really good friend to others.
- A good friend makes you feel good. He’s always appreciative of you and grateful for everything you do for him and others. He has unwavering faith in your talents and skills and encourages you to keep on striving until you achieve your aspirations.
- In times of heartbreak or trouble, a good friend makes sure you will not feel alone. He’s always there to listen, to help you heal and rise again.
- Respectful of each other’s differences. No two people are exactly alike, and a good friend expects that you don’t have to be with each other all the time. He motivates you to keep pursuing your interests and goals, even though he enjoys and dreams of other things too.
- Trustworthy. This is among the primary traits that a good friend should have. You can depend on him to keep confidential matters guarded with his life and honor. And even if a disagreement or a serious conflict arises between the two of you, he will never do anything to betray your trust.
- Respect each other’s boundaries. The two of you may be as close as brothers, but you always show respect for each other’s individuality, including personal boundaries. You keep communication open and discuss matters with maturity.
- A good friend also regularly devotes time to you. You can feel that you really are a special part of his life. You can feel his happiness when he’s talking with you, sharing things with you, and just by being with you. You’re not bound by blood, but to you, he’s even closer than a brother.
Of course, to have more than one best friend is a joy beyond compare! You stand stronger altogether. That even if one of your good friends should have to say goodbye, you still have other “brothers” to count on. Indeed, good friends are treasures you’d like to keep in your heart for the rest of your life.
But these three friends are experiencing a strain that may finally stretch their bond to the point of snapping. The Original Poster shared their story on Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole forum because she could not take one of her roommates’ demands anymore.
OP revealed the following in her post, “Me (23f) and my friends – let’s call them Harriet (22f) and Tommy (23m) – are going to be moving into an apartment next year. My friend Harriet is a Muslim. I love and support her, She gets a lot of shit for that kind of stuff in our country for that, so I want to support her. Me and Tommy aren’t religious, so we don’t follow any teachings or beliefs, so we eat and drink anything we want.”
The trouble started to brew when Harriet began making rules for OP and Tommy to follow. She wanted only halal food in the house. That was fine with her roommates; they could endure it.
Next, Harriet did not want anyone smoking in the apartment, and she did not want any alcohol as well. OP began to feel uncomfortable with the rules since she feels the need to smoke occasionally. But the bigger issue was about the alcohol ban since OP is a mixologist and she works in a cocktail bar. She has to concoct new cocktail recipes for her customers.
But it was not the end of Harriet’s demands. OP wrote, “Another thing is whenever Harriet’s parents come over, me and Tommy have to pretend we’re married, but the thing is, we’re all queer, and I’m visibly queer. Unfortunately, Harriet’s parents aren’t approving of her identity, so she can’t come out to them. I brought up how all this change we’re doing to make her comfortable is making me uncomfortable. I said I feel like I’m not living the life I want, and I want to be able to do the things I want to do. I didn’t choose this religion. Why should I follow the rules?”
Well, both Harriet and Tommy felt offended. Harriet cried, and Tommy was taking her side because he’s more tolerant.
But should OP really give up her individuality and surrender to all of Harriet’s demands based on her Muslim faith?
Commenters were outraged by this friend who’s imposing her religious beliefs on her pals, which were even inaccurate interpretations of laws from the Quran.
“Do not move in with Harriet. She is taking these demands to the extreme. Muslims aren’t allowed to consume, transport, or sell alcohol. The Quran says nothing about roommates having alcohol. The same goes for all of her demands. She is forcing her religious convictions on you when she has no right to. Tell her to suck it up or find a different roommate,” a Redditor advised.
“Why are you even entertaining the possibility of this? Do you really want to live with Harriet being the Queen of your house? If she wants to be in charge of everyone’s behavior in her home, she needs to live alone,” another AITA member commented.
“Harriet will not work as a roommate with anyone who is not Muslim. You and Tommy should find a place. Harriet needs to find other roommates or live alone. NTA,” another individual remarked.
Yet, this person doubted if Harriet could have any roommates dance to her twisted religious tune. “She won’t work with a devoutly Muslim roommate either. She’s in the queer community and willing to live with an unrelated male but can’t have alcohol in the house?”