Should This Woman Pay Rent to Her Boyfriend Upon Deciding to Live Together In His House?
An Original Poster on Reddit’s infamous r/AmITheA**hole gets slammed by many AITA members who read her story!
This woman might have been a couple of steps to cloud nine as she agreed to move in with her boyfriend in his house, but she must be tending to a wounded ego right now after being judged as an a–hole.
Choosing to use the subReddit name u/notmyhouseaita, OP related, “My BF (33M) and I (29F) have been dating for 3 years. He owns a house and lives there by himself. I live in an apartment by myself. We’ve talked about moving in together as that’s the logical next step in our relationship and we both want to do it. But I have some hang-ups related to moving into a house that I don’t have any stake in.”
OP further argued, “I am refusing to pay any money that would go directly towards his mortgage. I don’t have any stake in the house, why would I contribute to his mortgage payments? I’m ok helping with utilities, groceries, household items, etc. But paying his mortgage is a hard no from me. I just don’t think it makes any sense for me to pay towards his mortgage when I would get nothing from that if we were to break up.”
Her boyfriend tried to reason with her by saying that she would even make some savings since her current apartment rent is equal to the cost of the mortgage. And since they are cutting living expenses in half, OP would be able to save a lot.
But, in response, OP told her boyfriend that she wanted a lease agreement wherein it would be stated that in case of a breakup, her boyfriend would return all the money she has given for “rent.”
Her boyfriend refused the idea, and since then their relationship hangs in balance. With her current lease about to expire, OP wanted to know what is the most practical thing for her to do. But she admitted that she still feels uncomfortable about sharing her boyfriend’s mortgage obligation since there is no certainty that the house would also partly become hers.
She ended the post with the words, “I can tell my BF’s patience on this is wearing thin and he’s upset with me for digging my heels in on this. But for me, this is about protecting myself for the worst-case scenario while he’s not really risking anything.”
Reddit users were quick to slam OP for her way of thinking, as one commenter frankly said, “You clearly don’t have any problem paying your landlord’s mortgage and you have no stake in that. How is this any different? You live there, you can help pay for the expenses. YTA.”
Another Redditor commented, “This was exactly the situation when I moved in with my now-husband. We immediately started a shared household account and split ALL expenses 50/50. If a couple is going to live together, presumably you love and trust each other and are committed. If not, live alone and pay your own bills. OP is YTA.”
Another commenter did not mince words in criticizing OP: “No matter how she tries to justify her position, it’s clear as day that she’s greedy!!! He needs to count his blessings and run. YTA Op because you want to be part owner because you would be paying rent. You know it makes no sense unless you think your bf is a sucker. People are so entitled these days. It blows my mind 🤯”
Learn more about the stats of living together before marriage in the video below:
