Should you pay for your food at a wedding?
It’s a violation of wedding etiquette, according to Top Wedding Sites. Guests should not be asked or expected to pay for their food at a wedding event. They have already spent money on gifts, some may have even travelled far just to attend the occasion. It’s in bad taste to take advantage of these people’s goodwill. If you can’t afford a luxurious wedding, opt for a simple ceremony because, in the end, it’s the quality of a couple’s marriage that matters.
In this yet another viral post on Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole forum, a bride publicly humiliated one of her guests who was taken by surprise when she was presented with a menu. All of the food items were paired with dizzying prices and she didn’t have the cash.
Does this bride have the right to insult a guest who couldn’t pay?
With the username u/Historical-Warning31, this guest poured out her heart regarding the ugly things that happened before and after the wedding. She wrote, “Recently, my colleague (F31) invited me to her wedding, which happened yesterday. I was super excited and happy for her. Just in case, I asked her if there were any guest fees – she said, ‘No, you don’t need to pay me anything.’ On the day itself, everything went well until the reception (dinnertime). To my shock, I was presented with a wedding menu that had prices on it. (For example: Steak —- $50) Everything was ridiculously expensive, including the vegetarian options.”
She wanted to approach and ask the bride why she had to lie to her about the food charges at the reception. But then, she didn’t want to embarrass the bride in front of other people on that special day.
OP continued to relate in her post, “The only other option was to simply not eat, as I didn’t bring enough money for both a meal and a ride back. But this was completely unfavorable, as I had skipped my lunch to ‘save space’ for the wedding meal and was pretty hungry.”
Just then, she remembered seeing a McDonald’s restaurant near the hotel. And so, she asked the bride if she could leave to eat at McDonald’s since she didn’t have enough money with her. But she promised to return in time for the gift ceremony.
OP was deeply surprised by what happened next! “I thought she’d agree, but to my horror – she got really upset. She said that she put in so much effort to get this ‘Michelin-star restaurant service,’ yet I still wasn’t happy. That I was trying to bring her down by saying that I’d rather eat McDonald’s. Alarmed, I said that I didn’t mean it that way – I just didn’t have the cash for it. She then scoffed, saying – ‘Who’s fault is that?'”
The bride’s haughtiness sparked OP’s anger, and she replied, “You were the one who lied that I didn’t need to pay anything!”
To which the vain bride retorted, “What I meant was there is no attendance fee! You literally assumed that you’d get a free five-course dinner. Wow, you’re cheaper than I thought!” She then told OP to leave her wedding.
But OP still grabbed a Big Mac on her way home to appease her wounded heart.
Sadly, when she returned home, her boyfriend and some friends told her what she did was wrong. Since it was a wedding, she should have brought some extra cash with her. “You chose the wrong time to be stingy,” her boyfriend said.
OP sadly ended her post with the following words, “After hearing their opinions, I felt quite guilty and embarrassed. However, that little part of me still thinks it’s justified because 1) she lied to me, and 2) publicly humiliated me. Please help me out. AITA?”
Surprise again! But this time, in favor of OP since it’s not standard practice to make guests pay for their food at a wedding. It’s not just a violation of wedding etiquette; it’s unethical!
And to humiliate one’s guest? It shows a lack of breeding and compassion. Even if that bride has gotten all the Michelin-star restaurants to serve her, none of it could make up for her hideous character.
The greatest person in the world is the one who invites poor people to his feast, knowing in his heart that they cannot pay him back.
Here’s more wisdom from AITA commenters:
From GreenUnderstanding39: “I kinda hate the excess of the whole wedding industry. I know people who separated after a few years of marriage and fought during the divorce, not on splitting assets but rather splitting DEBT incurred from the wedding! Horrifying. Stuff of nightmares.”
From AngelSucked: “You do not invite guests to your home and make them pay for what you serve them. This is the same. If you cannot afford a reception, there is no shame – just have cake and punch, and have that on the invite. This new thing of trying to charge wedding guests is just bonkers and so rude.”
From Taladar: “Agreed. The way I see it, guests are doing the couple getting married a favor already by taking time out of their life to attend the wedding, not to mention gifts. Now they want to charge people for the ‘privilege’ of attending too?”Whizzco