Woman to Racist Friend: Your Vanity and Narrow-Mindedness Make Me Sick

Respect is easy to define.

But being respectful? Now, that’s a hard principle for many people to live by. Disrespect is so prevalent that it’s easy to notice in many places and relationships, including marriages and families.

It’s a missing element in many friendships, as well.

Take the case of this young woman who finally grew tired of a friend who looks down on people who come from a “poor country.” Posting under the handle One_Eggplant_1080, she wrote the following details in Reddit’s r/AmItheA-hole forum: “Hello Reddit, my friend group is divided on this, and I was advised to make a post here. Here’s some background information to the problem: I (25F) hosted dinner a few weeks ago at my place. Everyone was having fun, and the topic of moving out and charging your adult children rent came up. I’m not American, and if I’m being honest, I didn’t even know this was a common thing. I told my friends that, in Brasil, this would be looked down upon and that I didn’t know a single person who paid rent to their parents. I have three grown sisters who live ‘at home,’ and no one pays a cent. I finished my speech saying that it’s fine if they disagree with me, but I personally would never charge my children rent if I wasn’t struggling.”

However, OP was stunned when her friend Amy commented that the matter was something “someone from a third world country wouldn’t understand (?!?).” Moreover, she opined that OP’s sisters shouldn’t be living as freeloaders. To which OP was compelled to answer that such was not the case. She told all her friends that her parents love having her sisters around, and it was common, if not expected, to live with one’s parents until the children get married.

What was her friend’s response? OP wrote, “Amy replied by saying that my culture is backwards. I tried not to get offended over her choice of words and said ‘agree to disagree.'”

But, sadly, the contention didn’t end there. One night, OP hosted another dinner again, and she announced that her older sister was now engaged.

It was when Amy’s tongue lashed out again that OP couldn’t stop from slamming her, this time for being racist. She related in her post, “Amy proceeds to ask if she’s finally going to grow up now or if mommy and daddy will pay rent for her elsewhere. I was sick of her little comments (not the only thing she said this past week) and said that, no, my sister is buying her own condo with my brother-in-law and that maybe she could do the same soon if her parents didn’t charge her $1000 + utilities every month.”

And so a fight ensued and dinner was over. To mend their friendship and keep the peace, some of their friends have told OP that she needed to apologize to Amy. But, in OP’s opinion, she shouldn’t be doing so.

What’s the opinion of the AITA community?

Looks like another person gets added to the millions of a-holes, and it certainly isn’t OP.