Being friends with your ex is sometimes a way for some people to keep hanging on — without admitting it.
This woman said she was happy that her ex was marrying his girlfriend and she has no issues with her since she was good to their three kids and her ex. But it was she who ruined this woman’s wedding by attempting to outshine the bride on her special day.
Yes, this Original Poster is the one who caused the wedding fiasco, but she’s insistent that she did nothing wrong. Her words in her post were crafted to make her appear innocent. But the reality is that she intentionally hurt the woman who now owns her ex’s heart.
With the username u/closureseekingex, she posted the details of the event on Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole forum, most probably thinking that the AITA members are not smart enough to discern how she had glossed over the truth. The thing is, no matter how much a person tries to beautify the presentation of her character, the tone will give away if that person is humble or vain.
Here is OP’s story: “My ex and I had a peaceful divorce. We co-parent our three children together, and there haven’t really been many issues. My ex is getting married to Stephanie. I like Stephanie; she has been great with my kids and makes my ex happy. My ex invited me to their wedding, and I was happy for him. It was my day with the kids, so it made sense for me to come was his reasoning. When I arrived at the wedding, Stephanie thanked me for dropping the kids off and brushed me off. We had never had any issues before.”
OP continued to say that she explained to the bride that she intended to stay for the reception, which upset the other woman. She insisted that she had been invited by her ex, something she had presumed Stephanie knew. Stephanie answered that she knew but didn’t expect her to accept.
What was OP’s reply? “I told her that I was invited, and since I took the 2-hour drive, I would be staying for the entire duration. She didn’t like this response. Stephanie asked me to leave, and I stood my ground. She went on to complain about my dress upstaging hers. My ex and former mother-in-law helped her to calm down, and the wedding shortly began. I thought that was the end of it, but later, in private, Stephanie accused me of trying to ruin her special day. She is convinced that I wanted to show off and make the wedding about my divorce. She said it was rude for me not to leave after the bride requested it because it was her special day. I told her that I am not responsible for her insecurities and once again reminded her that I have no interest in ‘stealing’ my ex back.”
Based on those words, it was clearly a fight between two women over a man. OP thinks she still has “power” over her ex due to his kind and friendly attitude toward her. And since her ex didn’t join his bride’s request for her to leave the wedding, but instead he and his mom joined together to calm Stephanie down, these were signs to OP that she’s won.
But her last words to Stephanie were what revealed the negative feelings she’s been hiding inside. She called her insecure, and she had to reiterate her statement that she has no interest in getting back her ex.
Those are not the kind of words and attitude that a woman who’s completely over her ex will say and show. She never really liked Stephanie. And she’s never really cared about her feelings. A decent person will follow wedding etiquette, and it includes respect for the bride by not trying to steal the spotlight on her wedding day.
OP wore a “SIQINZHENG Women’s Sweetheart Full Lace Beach Wedding Dress Mermaid Bridal Gown” which one of the commenters showed through an Amazon link to the red fancy dress.
Moreover, her edit just further revealed how vain she is: “The dress is posted on my page, and since this is a throwaway, I don’t remember the random password I typed up. I will also be active on u/closureseekingex2.”
OP, the members of the AITA community are not fools.
From duckysmomma: “YTA. I love when these posts are skewed to be ‘but I didn’t do anything wrong!’ And then you see the dress and it’s literally a red wedding dress.
ETA: this is from her post on her profile.”
More shocking facts from twitchyv: “Lmao that’s hilarious. This needs to be higher up. I didn’t think OP was TA, but now, OP, YTA. ETA: I responded to this when it was 1 minute old but I’m glad it got the attention it deserves. Go Redditers!
“ETA2: before OP deleted their previous posts/comments they apparently had bragged on r/trueoffmychest about upstaging the bride at her ex’s wedding. YTA TIMES A MILLION HOW CAN YOU EVEN ASK OP.”
Similar rage from your-yogurt: “OP keeps saying it’s a similar dress to the one she linked. there are other sleeveless red dresses she could’ve shown us, but the one she chose just ~happened~ to be a wedding dress? C’mon.”
EmeraldBlueZen agreed, “Yup. She’s making that up so we won’t judge her, because that dress is literally called a ‘wedding dress’ on Amazon. I think she thought if she ordered from another site, she can pretend it wasn’t called a wedding dress there.”
And more slams like this on OP. Good grief.Whizzco