Man Lambasted on Reddit for Allowing His Mom to Bully His Wife Who’s just Given Birth
A man who posted his story on Reddit got lambasted for failing to see his and his mom’s true reflection in life’s mirror!
This man who calls himself u/AndrewRichard11 related his problem on Reddit’s popular forum, r/AmItheAsshole, involving his wife and his mother whom he claimed was doing them a big favor.
According to OP, his wife has just given birth to a baby boy, and she always appeared exhausted. To help his wife, since he is too busy at work, OP asked his mom to help with chores at home. He also wanted her to have time to bond with her grandson.
However, this decision led to a situation in which OP had to critique his wife for what he saw as her disrespectful attitude toward his mother.
OP wrote, “Thing is my wife acts strange whenever she sees my mom with our son. She’d make a face and talk to her in a condescending tone, even raises her voice at her, causing mom to feel hurt. I asked my wife about it, and she said it was because of what my mom is doing. I asked her to elaborate and she complained about mom holding the baby for long and taking forever to give him back to her.”
He continued the post with the following, “Mom argued that my wife could ask nicely instead of outright yelling, but my wife defended herself saying that she only starts raising her voice after she’s already asked a couple of times and mom won’t listen. They started arguing and mom started crying. that’s when I felt enraged, pulled my wife aside, and told her to stop acting out and that if she keeps this up then we won’t get anymore help from mom. She argued that she was trying to feed our son and that it was awful of me to think of it as ‘acting out.'”
The problem just worsened when OP insisted that his wife should practice more patience. He admitted that his mom has some ill behaviors but his wife should learn to deal with her nicely. His wife reacted by calling him selfish for condoning his mom’s attitude, and she now leaves it to OP to get back the baby when it is time for him to breastfeed.
Since then, his wife has been giving him the cold shoulder, which makes OP think that she is being totally unreasonable.
But that is not how people on Reddit’s AITA community think! Everyone is calling him and his mom a–holes! It is he and his mom who are being unfair to his wife, but it seems OP, after writing his story, cannot accept the criticism and the angry reactions to his post.
Here are several of the candid judgments:
“YTA. Trying to picture how I’d feel if I gave birth five weeks ago, had to ask multiple times to have access to my own baby, and then my husband told me that I was the problem. I wouldn’t feel good about my marriage, that’s for sure. Did you marry her just to get a grandbaby for your mom?” one commenter wrote.
“OP is letting his mother call all the shots and bully his wife in the process. Then when wife can’t take it any more and pushes back, oh boy…mother/grandmother gets all bent out of shape. We can’t be treating her that way….OP won’t allow his wife to disrespect his mom like that!! Yet OP’s mom can disrespect OP’s wife all day every day. OP needs to tell his mom to go home and let his wife and baby bond with each other without interference. She’s not helping, she’s unnecessarily stressing OP’s wife by being an overbearing busybody,” another Reddit user voiced out a strong opinion.
“Especially if she’s a first time mom! It takes time to find your way and the last thing you need is a toxic MIL interfering. OP, send mom home. Tell her it would be helpful if she cooked some things and dropped them off. Give her some laundry to do at home and return (unless you think she’d ‘accidentally’ ruin things). Have her grocery shop. There are SO MANY things your mom can do if she wants to be helpful. But I don’t think she wants to be helpful. She just wants to hold her grandbaby and antagonize your wife. YTA,” another AITA member advised with truthfulness.
“Yup. It’s already changed the way she feels about him. He better do a complete 180 if he wants to stay married. You’re so into your mom, go live with her,” someone else wrote to wake up OP to what is really happening.
But it seems that OP’s perspective remains faulty because of the way he chooses to continue finding fault with his wife and sparing himself the trouble of helping with chores at home. He is too busy to be a good husband and a good father, which indeed could eventually cost him his marriage.
From OP’s response: “My goodness! I’m seeing so much anger here. I’m sorry I cannot respond to you all but I just want people to calm down and understand that I in no way agree with some of my mom’s behaviors, just how my wife reacts is……not okay and that’s all. really. thank you very much though! Ok. have a nice day.”Whizzco