You’re Delusional! Teenager Tells Stepmom Who’s Obsessed with Adopting Him

What if a kid does not want to replace his mother who died? Should he be forced to accept that having another mother is the best for him?

Blended families are a complex affair. And stepchildren have to be especially respected by stepparents if they want to become their “new” parents or at least a friend. To be friends with each other while respecting adult authority is one of the excellent relationships to nurture in a blended family.

Photo: Pexels/Aline Viana Prado

However, Original Poster u/LostConstruction492 feels so much pressure from his dad and stepmom for him to accept the latter as his new mother. He wrote in his post to Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole forum, “My mom died when I was 6 years old. My dad ended up turning to one of his good friends, Ana, and they ended up getting married when I was 7. Ana brought up the idea of adopting me the day of the wedding. It was something my dad was all for, but I went nuts when she mentioned it to me, and I kinda spoiled the rest of the wedding.”

OP thought the idea of Ana’s adopting him had ended after that wedding fiasco. But instead, his dad and stepmom forced him to undergo therapy. The therapist tried to convince OP that what he needed was a new mother to make him feel safe and that it was not a betrayal to love another mother.

OP related what happened next: “The therapist put the recommendation into the court to approve it, but when the judge spoke to me, I told him that I would run away, and that I would do everything to never come back. I was 8 at the time and meant business. He asked me why I didn’t want to be adopted. He listened. And when he addressed the court again he denied the adoption request and told my dad and Ana that until I was on board no adoption would be approved in his court.”

Photo: Pexels/Kindel Media

Did it stop there? No, his dad and his stepmom filed for adoption in another court but it rejected their appeal too.

But in spite of these failures, OP would be constantly subjected to pressure so he would change his mind. Even though Ana has kids of her own, she would make extra efforts to make OP feel that he’s her most favorite son. However, it just pushed OP further and further away because Ana has become a very intrusive family member for him.

Upon turning 18, OP was quick to leave Ana and his dad and moved with his maternal grandparents. Then, he transferred to his maternal uncle’s home since it’s near the apprenticeship that interested him.

Photo: Pexels/Buro Millenial

But Ana’s obsession to adopt him did not fade away. As OP related, “My paternal grandparents celebrated their wedding anniversary this past weekend and I was there. While there, Ana approached me and handed me papers for an adult adoption. She told me she loved me and she wanted me to know it was not too late, that she would still adopt me, and she wanted to make our relationship official as mother and son. I asked her how she could be so delusional when I have said no to being adopted for 11 years now. I told her I would not change my mind. She and my dad were so pissed at my choice of words, and chaos ensued at the party.”

Was OP foolish for calling his stepmom delusional?

Many Redditors understood OP more than his own dad. One commenter remarked, “Reasonable people ask somewhere the child is comfortable without potentially 100+ onlookers. How absolutely inconsiderate to put that kind of pressure on a child who lost his mom only a year before. Many grown adults struggle a lot when they lose a parent, and they’ve had decades to develop coping skills. And now you’re going to put this pressure onto a young child in front of who knows how many people while this child is still grieving and trying to just figure out how to navigate without the person he loved most in this world? Gross.”

Photo: Pexels/Thirdman

Another individual commented, “I’m surprised stepmom didn’t pull out the ‘after all I’ve done for you’ card bc it’s all about stepmom and her feelings. Luckily the judge listened to OP, bc stepmom and dad didn’t, and op is right when he said they are delusional.”

Meanwhile, this parent in a blended family shared real wisdom from which OP’s stepmom and dad could benefit: “This is how I am with my ‘step’ kids. I told them they can call me whatever they are comfortable with, and they started by calling me by my first name for a few years. I loved them, did all I could for them, but never pushed anything. They live with us full-time and have minimal contact with their bio mom. Eventually they started calling me mom, but I never, ever pushed it. I just treated them like my own, and it grew into mutual love and respect. You cant FORCE something like that. It just has to happen by being genuine about it.”

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