You may seek for the end of the rainbow
Over mountains and valleys afar,
You may wend weary miles in your questing
Until evening blossoms a star—
When homeward you turn, disappointed,
Heartsick at the end of your dream—
You see from your small cottage window
A bright, broad ruddy beam
That beckons you in “O come hither,
Too long from the fireside you roam,
The goal of real joy that you seek for
Is found nowhere else but at home!”
AT HOME by Mary Tarver Carroll
Yes, many of us find peace and happiness at home which is also the loyal keeper of cherished memories.
But this teenager plans to sell the house he inherited from his mom after college graduation for lack of sentimental value. No, he has refused to donate it to her mom’s boyfriend and twin daughters, even if it means they now stay at a homeless shelter.
An original poster with the username u/Livid-Cheesecake-995 published his controversial story on Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole forum after he was blamed for the current situation of his mom’s boyfriend and kids. He related: “My(19M) parents divorced when I was 6. My mom got a boyfriend(Josh) and they started living together when I was 9. He had twin daughters, who were 4 when they moved in. Their mother was not in their lives anymore. My mom took them in as their own. I admit that I was a little jealous because they had her full-time and me only 50% of the time. I think my mom loved them more too.”
OP described himself as a quiet kid who spent most of his time in his room when he was at his mom’s house. He disliked siblings and grew more distant from his mom as he reached his late teens. He even rented his own apartment upon attending college, even though his mom’s house was in the same city.
Continuing his story, OP wrote: “Mom tragically passed in December. Because Josh and her never got married for some reason, I inherited everything, including her house. I allowed Josh and the kids to still live there. I payed half the bills, as he is struggling because of a low-paying job. My lease ends in December, and I decided to move into my house after. I sat down with Josh and told him I was moving in January. Since this is my house, I will take the bedroom and he will move to my old room. He started crying how bedroom is his safe space and all my mom’s things are there, which gives him peace. I told him he can move a few of her things to my old room (my room is 1/3 of the bedroom).”
But, instead of making peace with him, his mom’s boyfriend reacted in a childish way. “He started crying even more that he doesn’t want to abandon their bedroom. I was pretty pissed at that moment, so I told him to just get out of the house then, as I don’t have energy to deal with this shit. I have since cooled down. But 3 days later he sent me a message to notify me where he left the keys and that they moved out. I found out they went to a homeless shelter,” said OP.
Due to that, his mom’s family started to blame OP, accusing him of cruelty and heartlessness. The twins also texted OP to ask what they had done wrong that they should be living among the homeless now. However, his dad and current family told OP that none of it was his fault. It was his mom’s boyfriend who decided to move out.
What do AITA members have to say?
“Yeah, moving into a homeless shelter is 100% on Josh. OP was telling him to get out in December. He CHOSE to move out when he did, without even notifying OP of his intentions. OP says he expected to go back on things when he calmed down, so if Josh had told him of his plans, it sounds like OP would have had a decent chat. I’m really swaying on my verdict now. OP spoke hastily in anger, which is generally an AH move, but he’s a 19-year-old who has been carrying a heavy load. This Josh dude though just expected OP to bend over backward for him, and when OP tried to create a fair arrangement, he freaked out. One wonders if Josh did what he did to garner sympathy and perhaps pressure OP to relent on what was honestly a very fair arrangement. OP’s missteps are very understandable, but Josh is an established adult who needs to do better than this for his kids. Josh sucks eggs,” wrote an AITA commenter.
“NTA. And this. As an adult with kids, Josh should have been planning for the worst-case scenario of being kicked out without notice, just in case it happened. It sounds like he assumed a lot instead. The OP is young and didn’t handle Josh’s response perfectly, possibly due to the family dynamics he alluded to, but Josh’s response also sucked. Instead of appreciating the OP’s support and that he was grieving also, he whined and made it all about him. I think it’s likely he was trying to guilt the OP into backing down,” remarked another Redditor.
Meanwhile, an individual shared this reaction: “Finally, a comment that mentions that OP is grieving. Other comments emphasize that Josh is grieving, completely forgetting that OP LOST HIS MOTHER.”
This person supported this fact by saying, “I think people’s attention gets caught by the person (or narrative of, in this case) who is more emotive in their grief. They can forget that not everyone makes a display, intentionally or not, of their grief and that private, contained grieving is no less powerful and painful.”
As an update, OP shared the following with the AITA community along with his heartfelt thanks: “I met with Josh a day after my post. It went…unexpected. I appologized for my hot-headed response. I told him I didn’t really mean it and invited him back home. He told me no. He admitted that it was actually very hard for him to live there. He saw my mom everywhere he looked, and it was very hard for him . . . He didn’t know his daughters called my grandparents and me. When he found out, he confessed to his daughters and to my grandparents what he told me.”
OP also learned that his dad talked to Josh and even helped to get him 10 free sessions with a grief therapist who’s one of his friends. His dad did everything so all the misunderstandings could get straightened up.
He further mentioned in the update: “Josh will move in temporarily with my grandparents. I talked to my dad about the money. I decided to give Josh the rest of my mom’s savings. He can buy a nice apartment and still has some left over. Josh was very happy and thanked me over and over again. I did it for the piece of my mind.”Whizzco