Redditors Tell Woman to Get Away Fast from Husband Who Married Her to be a Nanny and a Sugar Mama

It’s often said that you’ll only learn a person’s true character after you have exchanged vows.

In this story, this woman seems to realize a bit too late that the man she married is the stuff of a nightmare.

Posting her predicament on Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole community forum, the Original Poster with the username u/TheJordanRiv121 related the following: “I, f35, have been married to my husband, m37, for 6 months. He has 2 children from two different (uninvolved) mothers, and they live with us full-time. The kids are 7 y.o. And 10 y.o. I work long hours, and it’s a demanding job time-wise. My husband thinks that just because I wfh that I can pause whenever, but it’s untrue. He’d ask me to do things for the kids or him during work hours, but I told him I’m working and unavailable during those hours and that the kids are his responsibility til I’m done.”

Photo: Pexels/Tima Miroshnichenko

It seems like a reasonable arrangement that her husband’s two kids are his responsibility until OP is done with her work. Reasonable since OP’s husband works part-time at his father’s warehouse, while she has a full-time demanding job. Also, between the two of them, it is she who earns more and answers most of their financial needs. Her husband must help her by taking care of most home chores, especially since he wants only healthy food for his kids, no take-out.

But agreements are easier said than followed. As OP continued her story, “Yesterday, He told me he wanted to go attend a friend’s engagement dinner and asked if I could ‘take time off work’ to make the kids dinner. I told him absolutely not and insisted that he cook for them or order takeout. He said he had no time to cook and takeout was off the table since he doesn’t want them to eat fast food. He later said fine and that he was going to cook dinner, then go to the party.”

However, a couple of hours later, the kids approached OP and said they were hungry. OP was so surprised and asked them if their dad cooked anything for them for dinner, and the kids said no. They further told her that their dad had instructed them to go to OP at exactly 7 pm and ask her to cook for them. OP was so furious since she was in a meeting. She took some moments off to order takeout food for the kids. After eating, she told them to watch tv, then go to sleep.

Photo: Pexels/Ivan Samkov

Was her husband who came home at almost midnight happy and grateful for what she had tried to do for his kids?

Well, he actually started yelling at OP when he learned that she didn’t cook for his kids and fed them with takeout food. OP answered him that she was forced to do it because he had tricked her into believing that he would cook for his kids before going to the party. He should be glad that she did not allow them to go to sleep with empty stomachs.

However, her husband, who works only part-time and can hardly provide for all of their family needs, reacted like he’s the real man of the house. OP wrote, “He ranted about how I care more about work than my stepchildren (God forbid) and called me selfish, then went upstairs and refused to talk to me. He’s still sulking about it today and says I need to get my priorities ‘in order’ cause they’re messed up.”

It’s no wonder OP is now having deep thoughts. First, her husband prioritized his friend’s party over cooking for his kids, although he claims to be a good father who wants only nutritious food for his kids. Second, he works only twice a week, and OP has to work full-time, yet he accuses her of having wrong values and priorities when he should be the breadwinner of the family if he expects her to care for the kids. Third, she doubts if it’s just because of financial reasons why the mothers of his kids left him — one of them is his ex-wife, the other his ex-girlfriend.

Photo: Pexels/Jacoby Clarke

So, who between her and her husband has a messed-up life and priorities?

The advice of the majority of AITA community members? Run away as fast as you can! You’ve married a man of an abusive character who’s just using you as a nanny and a sugar mommy!

Legion1117 reacted with incredulity, “Wait, wait, wait…..he told YOU that YOU need to get YOUR priorities in order when HE left HIS CHILDREN UNFED to attend a PARTY????? Why did you marry this ‘man?’ SOooooo much NTA.”

IgnotusPeverill likewise wrote, “NTA, OP – This is exactly why he has none of the moms in the picture. His behavior is abusive. I wonder if he married OP just to get someone to take care of the kids and bring home a solid paycheck. I can’t believe someone would manipulate both his kids and his wife at the same time by not feeding them. Sounds crazy to me.”

Photo: Pexels/Timur Weber

PittieLover1 also commented, “Right?! He literally wanted to force her to cook for them, even though she was working. OP can leave this abusive relationship, poor kids are stuck with this guy. Makes me wonder how he ended up with custody. Making up a story in my head that he was so awful that both women gave up their children rather than have to ever deal with him again and/or they were threatened. The abuse here has only begun for OP if she doesn’t leave.”

To which Easy-Concentrate2636 agreed, “Yup. In the husband’s eyes, she’s just like the warehouse workers – there to pick up his slack. He’s an entitled baby. Op, NTA. But is this who you want to spend the rest of your life with? He has zero respect for you as a working woman and just thinks of you as a free nanny.”

Yes, that question is worth mulling over: Is that the kind of man she’d like to spend the rest of her life with?

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