Relationships that people hold dearly can sometimes make someone overlook their negative personalities. You just let it pass, or you tend to turn a blind eye due to your overwhelming affection for them. This does not just happen in year-long relationships. Even people who have known each other for several years fail to recognize those red flags — especially when they like the person so much. Although it’s nice that you accept them for who they are, breaking the glass is vital for the relationship.
If signs indicate that a particular person isn’t good, it may affect the relationship in the long run. Unnoticed red flags can either hurt you or create a huge gap between you and that person. Other people might have to help you determine those bad qualities. But it’s better to become aware of it yourself, so you can talk to that person. Those subtle red flags are why your relationship with that person gets pushed to the edge all the time. It helps if one is aware in order to start communication for the growth of all those involved.
Recognizing red flags and toxic traits is frequently discussed in social media. On Reddit, a post by PsychologicalPop8776 received 15.9k upvotes and 9.5k answers. OP started a discussion in AskReddit with the question, “What is a subtle sign someone isn’t a good person?” Many people shared their experiences, and their answers might also help you. Here are a few red flags indicating someone isn’t a good person.
Not Recognizing Their Own Faults
“All their exes are crazy, and nothing negative is ever their fault,” Forestfairygremlin answered. The comment gained 3.6k upvotes as a lot of Reddit users agreed since they had first-hand experience. People who always put the blame on other people and aren’t aware of their own mistakes can be problematic.
Threatened by Another Person’s Success
It isn’t easy to celebrate your success when someone doesn’t seem happy for you. Some people would feel threatened by your wins in life and act as if it’s not worth celebrating. It’s a form of insecurity that should be worked on. The comment was from Aggravating_Gift_520, “When they see someone else’s progress or success as a threat.” Those kinds of people only want to hear about their own success stories. They will immediately get overly competitive and sour — whether it’s the triumph of their friend, family, or colleague.
Throwing Passive Aggressive Insults
HackTheNight wrote, “Passively aggressively insulting you in front of a group of people in such a way that you can’t say anything back without looking like you’re the emotional one even though you know that they intentionally insulted you to disrespect you.” At first, this act may be disguised as a friendly comment, but you’ll start to question their point when it gets too much. Throwing passive-aggressive insults is that person’s way of uplifting themselves or embarrassing you to prove something.
It’s never actually alright to gossip about someone behind their backs, especially when that person did not harm you in any way. Gossiping becomes a huge red flag when a person spreads groundless rumors to many people. Reddit users pointed out that this often happens in workplaces, schools, and even inside the family. HopelessDude96 answered, “They have a habit of talking bad about other people behind their backs and spreading gossip and rumors. You can tell a lot about a person by observing how they talk about their peers behind their back.”
Just like respect, forgiveness is earned and should be willingly given by the person who was hurt. It’s not alright to demand forgiveness to finish the argument or to get a free pass after committing a mistake, and this invalidates the person’s pain, since you just wanted to be done and over it. MaliciousPorpoise mentioned this red flag and gave a sample line of how people say it. “I said I was sorry; it’s done now. Get over it.”
This discussion on Reddit is still ongoing, and you might be able to contribute a trait no one has shared yet. If you have an experience with the red flags mentioned above, you can join the comment thread. There might be someone out there turning a blind eye to someone’s red flag, and they might need your answer to see it clearly. No one deserves to be stuck in their toxic phase or be surrounded by people with warning signs. Healthy relationships aren’t built by overlooking those signs, and it’s definitely not good for your well-being.