Rules are Rules! Wife Gets Fed Up with In-Laws Who Bring Chaos to Their Home
Another conflict between wife and in-laws!
And you’d probably expect that the older ones are so much wiser than the younger generation of parents. After all, they have many years of experience in parenting and housekeeping. But, it seems that as far as their grandchildren are concerned, these sages can’t help reliving their youth and pampering their favorite youngsters whenever they’re together.
How should a mom who lives by the rules to keep an orderly home and family react to all of these ruckuses?
Let’s find out in this viral post of this mother with the username u/EmbarrassedMilk4107, who published her story where else but Reddit’s popular r/AmItheA–hole forum!
Here’s how she started her post: “We live three blocks away from my parents, and they see our kids almost every day. My husband’s parents live a couple of states away and only see the kids a few times a year. It’s easy when we go see them since we only visit when the kids are off school. But when they come see us, it is at random intervals through the year.”
According to OP, her in-laws are actually excellent grandparents with just one flaw. They throw the house rules out of the window the moment they arrive.
OP explained, “It’s mean that we don’t make the kids their favorite food every day. Why can’t the kids watch tv with them before they do their chores and homework? Why do the kids have to be in bed so early? It drives me crazy that I’m the bad guy because my husband won’t put his foot down, so I have to do it.”
Well, her in-laws came last week. After dining, they wanted the kids to go see the movie Avatar, and that was on a school night. OP’s husband gave them permission.
But, for OP, that was the last straw. She told her husband that they were disrupting their kids’ schedules and it would cause more problems to OP. And so she gave him an ultimatum – either he enforces the house rules, or she would. Her husband promised her that he would.
However, the following night was a hockey game, and OP’s husband wanted their son to watch it with him. OP wrote, “I reminded my husband that our son had chores to do and homework. He said it was just a hockey game. I told the kids to get their stuff. I took them and a change of clothes and their homework to my parents’ house. My mom and dad will watch them and then take them to school in the morning.”
Upon returning home, they were waiting for her. And an argument ensued, as OP revealed the details in her post: “I’m being a controlling and abusive person by denying them time with the kids. I’m not the only person allowed to make decisions regarding the kids. They came all this way to see them, and I’m being a jerk by keeping them on a schedule.”
Fed up, OP picked up their kids the following day and dropped them home. Then, she told her husband that she would be out — something she had not done for a very long time. And since she didn’t want to wake up anyone, she would be spending the night at her parents’ house.
She did the same thing for two more nights. What happened next? OP wrote in her post, “My husband has been calling and texting and coming over to tell me I need to come home because the house is a disaster because his parents won’t do anything. They are on vacation, and they are there to see the kids, not clean up. The kids are having a fun time with no rules, and he has been contacted by the school because no homework was turned in on Thursday or Friday.”
But OP told her husband that she would only come back when his parents have left. Her husband told her that she was taking things too far and the situation was already affecting his work. But OP didn’t care.
In updates, she learned that her son was needing his gym clothes. It was obvious that her husband was having a really difficult time at home without her.
Okay, OP had the chance to blow off steam. But did it resolve the situation? She has also mentioned that her in-laws visit them only four to five times a year. Clearly, what she and her husband need is to find a way to deal with the kind of problems they experience whenever his parents pay them a visit. It would be heartless to cut the ties of this elderly couple with their grandchildren just because of conflicting views.
Of course, parents are directly responsible for their children. But grandparents have a special place in their grandchildren’s hearts because they are more soft-hearted. It gives them joy to pamper their grandkids, to make them laugh, and to entertain them with stories. They’re done with parenting, and they feel it’s time to be a bit carefree.
Rules are important at home and everywhere. But love should guide these rules. So you will have time to breathe, to appreciate the people and things around you, to smile and laugh, to let go of pressures and stress from living a very disciplined life.
One day when you and your husband grow old, you won’t be hungering for the feeling of being even just a bit carefree, a bit more alive.Whizzco