Some twins are as close as siblings could be. Others must rival each other in order to prove who’s the better twin.
In the case of this Original Poster, her twin sister rivals with the rest of the female species to proclaim herself as the best among them. Yes, it’s crazy and it might drive OP out of her mind. Why should her twin feel the need to trample other girls under her feet just to attract guys?
Here’s her story, published on Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole community under the username u/throwaway6103911, “My (20F) sister Kim and I are identical twins. We were very different growing up and still are. I hate to say this, but Kim is the definition of a pick me girl, always spewing misogynistic nonsense on how women are weak and should obey men. How she’s so short and petite, so she can’t do anything on her own without a big strong man around. How all the girls are trying too hard by wearing makeup, while she is pretty naturally, so they all hate her for it.”
Kim and OP go to the same college but in different departments. In one of OP’s classes, she mentioned that there’s a handsome guy named Dave who is everyone’s crush, including her twin.
Come summertime, OP decided to work at a cafe near their campus. Dave was one of its frequent customers, and he was cordial to her, saying he remembered her from the class they shared.
But, as time passed, Dave admitted to OP that he has a crush on her even from way back. He asked her to go out on a date for a chance to get to know each other better. However, OP declined because Kim has a crush on Dave. Instead, she tried to set up the two together by telling Dave about her identical twin and giving him her number when he agreed to give it a try.
OP continued to relate in her post, “I knew they met up for a date during the weekend but didn’t have the time to ask Kim how it went since I was sick. Today during my shift, Dave approached me and asked if I could return to Kim the lipgloss she left in his car since he knew the brand was expensive. I asked him why he didn’t return it to her himself, and he said that he didn’t want to see her after how the date went.”
Those words surprised OP, and so she asked what went wrong. According to her, “He explained that they went to a nice restaurant where my sister didn’t stop harassing and criticizing the waitress for wearing too much makeup and looking ‘easy.’ After that fiasco was over, she proceeded to say some stuff that I can only imagine is usually said in an Andrew Tate podcast. Dave, who was apparently raised by a single mother and has 5 sisters, was horrified, so he excused himself to the bathroom, paid for their meal, Venmo’d Kim some cash for an Uber, and left her at the restaurant alone.”
Now, that was truly embarrassing for OP, because she thought Kim would behave herself in the presence of a really nice young man. But her twin messed up their date big time, and all OP could do was offer Dave her sincerest apologies. Returning home, she gave Kim her lipgloss back, which sparked endless complaints from her sister about Dave not being a real man. The tirade just made OP feel so tired, and she frankly told Kim that she threw away her chance of catching a really good guy because of her misogynistic attitude.
Back in her apartment, Kim kept on texting OP to demand an apology, but she no longer replied. Instead, she had a discussion with her parents, and all of them agreed that Kim needed therapy. They just hoped that she would agree to do so.
As an update, OP told the AITA community that she and Dave have started communicating again, and it seems that things may head into a relationship. But, OP does keep her reservations. When Kim learned about this development between her twin and Dave, she grew even more furious with OP for getting close to the guy who humiliated her publicly. But OP managed to calm her down, and Kim resorted to announcing that what she really needed was a “manlier alpha male” than Dave. Although those words made OP cringe, she just allowed Kim her ridiculous belief.
Is she an a–hole for the way she’s treated her sister?
Original-Stretch-464 is cheering her on! “Join the Dave craze! seriously, OP you should. Dave seems like a really good guy, and he’s polite to the point where he still wanted your awful sister to have her lipgloss back. I would’ve thrown it out and called it a day. Go get dinner with Dave. Not at the same place though, the waitstaff have probably banned your sister in their minds.”
A comment from thaliagorgon says, “NTA, your sister sounds insufferable and very immature. Does she believe this garbage? Because it sounds like she’s saying what she thinks people want her to say and not actually developing a personality. If you actually like Dave, you could give it a shot since you know it won’t work for your sister and you were kind enough to give her a chance. But only if you actually want to.”
RainbowPhoenix also remarked, “Or, maybe, he didn’t push it because he recognizes and respects boundaries? OP said no. It doesn’t seem like she elaborated on why she said no, so Dave wouldn’t know if she is really uninterested or if she’s trying to do something nice for her sister. As far as Dave knows, OP doesn’t like him, and he accepted her rejection and went ahead and gave her sister a shot since OP told him that she liked him. Obviously it’s about more than looks, because he ditched the sister because of her terrible personality. Not to mention, he’s gotten to know OP, and seems to like her personality as well as her looks.”
RandoChameleon shared the same battlecry, “Gofordave.”
Meanwhile, Obrina98 was happy to voice out, “Agreed, you gave sis first shot, but she shot herself in the foot. The field is now open.”