Woman Suffers Burnout from Helping Her Outgoing Sister and Newborn Baby
It was as if it was she who had recently given birth.
She couldn’t help feeling worn to the bone, even though it really was her intention to travel across many miles so she could help her sister and her newborn son. No, she does not regret that decision or most of the things she’s been doing for her sister’s family — both baby and home chores.
But beyond those, she no longer had any more energy. Yet, her sister was expecting more from her in spite of her saying how totally exhausted she already was. Her repeated refusal to join her sister’s outdoor adventures with the baby led to her sister no longer speaking to her. And her sister has just made her burden of guilt even heavier by saying that her attitude was causing her to feel more depressed.
This is this woman’s story, published in Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole forum with the username u/Bumbie_Boat. The Original Poster wrote, “My sister has just given birth about a month and a half ago, and I went over to help her with the baby/house chores since her husband couldn’t take a leave from work.”
But OP didn’t expect trouble to brew. “The problem is, my sister is an extremely outgoing person and loves going to places/trying out new things. Me, on the other hand, I’m burnt out, and all I’m thinking about for an outing is how I will be carrying the stroller across the long metro stairs, the baby needing a diaper change, and us running to the nearest toilet, the heavy traffic, the loud noises, in short, I see it as stress and a chore, not something I’d do out of enjoyment.”
According to OP, her sister had been urging her to go out for several days already, but she kept saying no. All she did was stay in her room and get the rest that her body desperately needed. Her sister told her that it was not good for her to hole up in her room all the time. But OP simply responded that her sister could go out on her own and just leave the baby with her so she could fully enjoy herself out in the sun.
But her sister did not take her rejection lightly. OP wrote, “She grumbled about no one caring about her and went into their bedroom and shut the door. I’ve been thinking maybe I should’ve just sucked it up and just gone with her, but I don’t know why she insists on me going out too when I said I’m exhausted.”
In an update, OP said that her sister no longer wanted to talk to her, even though she had tried knocking on her door. Her departure was already near, so she wrote her a letter instead. She lives in a different country, that’s why it wouldn’t be possible to visit her sister every week.
However, there was no more update on if her sister had forgiven OP and tried to understand her situation.
Is OP a jerk for not doing everything her sister wished when they were still together?
Absolutely not! Many of the Reddit users who commented on her post expressed appreciation for the love she has shown to her sister’s family. She was not there to get involved in her sister’s adventures, no matter how outgoing she is. OP’s intention was to ease the situation for her sister and her husband, who couldn’t take paternity leave. OP devoted her time to taking care of the baby and their household. Those were extraordinary endeavors, and her sister should see their value instead of focusing on her disappointments.
A lot of mothers on AITA have expressed how much they would have appreciated having someone like OP helping them out during such a challenging period in their lives. Having a newborn baby is a 24/7 duty, and it does not end in a matter of weeks. In fact, raising a family lasts almost a lifetime.
