Pregnant Woman Gets Slammed by Redditors for Wanting to Kick Out Her Stepdaughter
When it comes to blended families, you can expect problems to be worse than in nuclear families.
The Blended and Step Family Resource Center is very honest about this, as their website stated, “Hopefully, you have given up expecting your new blended family to look and feel like a so-called normal nuclear family. The differences between the two are enormous. A nuclear family is sovereign and cohesive . . . Nuclear family life is linear, meaning that one thing rationally follows another, typically affording the couple time to adjust to new developments, such as the arrival of a child.”
Meanwhile, this is what the organization said about blended and step families, “For couples that become step parents, the linear formula of meeting, falling in love, forming and nurturing a satisfying relationship, and then having children, is turned upside down. Building a successful relationship takes devotion and energy; when you throw children into the mix, the added stress often takes its toll.”
You can clearly see the imbalance in this story of a stepfamily where a young woman who’s going through a tough time is being forced out of their home by her stepmom.
This story was posted by this stepmom under the handle u/Sharp_Candy_513 in Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole forum. Her reason for wanting to kick her adult stepdaughter out of the house is “pregnancy” — she wanted SD’s space for her soon-to-be-born baby.
Let’s see if the AITA community agreed with her.
OP wrote, “This is an ongoing issue going on in my home. I (33F) am currently pregnant with my first child. I live in a two-bedroom home with my husband and stepdaughter (23F). My stepdaughter and I get along fine, no big issues, but we also are not super close. Now that the baby is coming, we need more space. Unfortunately, we can’t afford a new home. I brought up to my husband asking my stepdaughter to move out. My reasoning is that we really need her room for the new baby, and she is an adult with a full-time job, so it is time for her to be on her own anyway.”
OP’s husband agreed with her, and they discussed the matter with her SD. They even assured her that they would help her with the first two months of rental payments. OP also told her SD that they would go shopping for her needs and decorate her new apartment together.
But SD fell quiet upon hearing their suggestion. Later, she talked with her dad and admitted that she was not ready to live on her own. Her dad assured her that there was no need to do it in a rush, which of course left the problem of space for the baby unresolved.
OP would not easily give up, as she continued to relate in her post: “The other day, I was home alone with my stepdaughter and tried to talk to her about it again. I offered to help her find a roommate, and she snapped at me. She snapped at me and told me to just leave her alone and locked herself in her room. When my husband got home from work, he was mad at me and told me to leave her alone and not bring it up anymore. Things have been awkward and uncomfortable since, making my pregnancy very stressful.”
In spite of her husband’s decision for the welfare of his daughter, OP was adamant. She ended her post with the following words: “She is 23, old enough to be on her own. She has a job, and we are willing to help her. We need space for our baby. I do not see how I am in the wrong here.”
Well, many members of the AITA community opined she was wrong and called her an a–hole.
Prudent_Plan_6451 commented, “My 26-yo daughter is living with me despite having a college degree and a good full-time job with benefits: that pays exactly $4.00 more per hour than I was earning at my first full-time job — in 1983. There is no way she could afford her own place. Luckily we get along fine, and she has determined she’d rather share with me than with several random roommates. Offering to help with two months’ rent is nothing. Your husband had no issue with her living at home. YTA.”
Likewise, werefoxes responded, “I had a friend who called her parents her ‘biological roommates.’ Figured you might enjoy that!”
Ok-Reward-770 was delighted by the above comment, “Hahaha, that’s a really good take. Years ago, my father was on my butt for anything I did at home, using the old ‘my house, my rules.’ Mind you, I was paying part of the bills and, most of all, fixing and upgrading everything with my own money. So I decided to start looking for my own place. I found this little studio with a kitchenette, and, to my surprise, he changed his mind because ‘it wouldn’t be safe for me to live alone’ (which is true where I’m from). The next thing I knew, I stayed, but the rules changed, and we became ‘biological roommates.’”
Meanwhile, DreamStunning9223 was very candid with her opinion: “She’s literally the man’s daughter. That’s her home, no matter how old she is. Of course she’s entitled to keep living there?! What is wrong with Americans and this silly mindset? Do you put a timer once your kids turn 18 so you can kick them out? She’s not a bum or a layabout, but, judging by the kick-her-out chants, you’d think she is.
“EDIT: FOR ALL THOSE JUMPING ON MY COMMENT — I won’t be debating further. My opinion lies thus: ‘Children are entitled to their parents’ support, no matter how old they are. That’s what being a good parent is – you continue to take care of your children to the best of your ability, no matter how old they are! I was raised to think parenting doesn’t stop at 18. We don’t kick out our children. They may choose to leave, but it’s never because we ask them to go. If you disagree, that’s fine; you may evict your own children once they’re done with puberty. 🙏🏾👌🏾 YTA OP.”
