Infertility. One of the most dreaded words in the life of most couples.
Many people dream of having a family — having babies to cuddle and dance to sleep, toddlers to take for morning walks in the park, young children to entertain with fables and short stories, and, in the future, grown-up kids with successful careers to be proud of.
Parenthood is one of life’s greatest challenges, but almost everyone has this feeling that it could also be one of the most rewarding pursuits in the world.
Unfortunately, not everyone can have the precious gift of parenting. Worldwide, 48.5 million couples experience infertility, which is one of the primary reasons for divorce. In the United States, infertility affects 10% of women between the ages of 15 and 44, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. But it is also nearly as common in men (9%) in the same age group.
According to the World Health Organization, “infertility may occur due to male factors, female factors, a combination of male and female factors, or may be unexplained. For both women and men, however, environmental and lifestyle factors such as smoking, excessive alcohol intake, obesity, and exposure to environmental pollutants have been associated with lower fertility rates”.
Meanwhile, statistics further show that close to 41% of infertile women suffer from depression, while almost 87% of them have anxiety.
In the case of the Original Poster with the username u/aitathrowaway109, she didn’t have the intention of insulting her future daughter-in-law when she made a joke during one of the couple’s dinner visits. But her joke hurt the younger woman so much, which led to further misunderstanding among family and friends.
Out of the heaviness in her heart, OP requested a grandniece to help her share her story with Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole community. She wrote, “This happened last week, and I’ve been torn over it since. I see lots of these posts on Facebook, so I asked my grandniece to help me set this up. I’m 64, and I have one son, Robert, with my late husband, James. Robert is engaged to Sarah, who is also 35. Last Sunday, Sarah and Robert came to my house for dinner. We were chatting, and I told them a story about James, who Sarah unfortunately never got to meet.”
OP continued to tell her story to their dinner guests, relating that James had been so excited when she got pregnant, and he started creating everything their baby would need, like cribs and changing tables. OP was so touched by the gesture, but the only downside was that James was not much of a carpenter.
OP further related the following details: “One day, when I was putting Robert in his crib, the whole thing broke! I managed to catch Robert in time, so no harm was done, thankfully. After the story, I made a joke along the lines of Sarah never having that problem if they have children, because Robert actually is a carpenter.”
To OP’s deep surprise, Sarah burst into tears and asked her why she was being cruel to her. OP was quick to apologize and asked why Sarah got upset. The couple told OP that their doctor has found that Sarah was infertile and that they wouldn’t have any kids even with IVF treatment. OP apologized again, but because of what happened, Robert and Sarah left early.
But OP’s joke was not easily forgotten. OP ran into one of Sarah’s friends, and she treated her coldly, accusing OP of being so insensitive for humiliating Sarah in her barrenness. What’s worse, the story – with vicious twists – reached the other members of their family, and everyone was angry with OP.
But it was all an innocent mistake! OP is now grieving and doubting whether she had overstepped boundaries with the joke she made in Sarah’s presence.
However, Redditors didn’t see any malice or bad intention on OP’s part. The elderly woman didn’t know, and there was no way she would deliberately hurt Sarah, with whom she had a pleasant relationship prior to the incident.
Many commenters responded positively to OP’s post, and she thanked all of them, while making it very clear that Sarah is a woman of good character.
In her recent edit, OP wrote, “Sarah is a very lovely woman, and we have never had a big problem together before. Many commenters have said frankly rude things about her, which wasn’t my intention when posting here. I know Robert has always wanted a big family, and he wouldn’t have asked Sarah to marry him if they weren’t on the same page about that, so Sarah is likely going through an enormous amount of grief at the moment. Do be kind to her, please.”
Well, with those words, you can also feel that OP is really a good person herself and she just wanted to restore the peace between her son, his fiancée, and herself, especially since they have a future together to look forward to.
With this kind of good people, you’ll be hoping for the best for their families and for their line of communication to always remain open so they’ll keep on enjoying peace and harmony.Whizzco