Live Your Own Life: Man’s Kindness Gets Abused by His Irresponsible Brother and Wife
“A family is like a circle.
The connection never ends,
and even if at times it breaks,
in time it always mends.
A family is like the stars.
Somehow they’re always there.
Families are those who help,
who support and always care.
But don’t be weary if it’s broken
or if through time it’s been so worn.
Families are like that –
they’re split up and always torn.
But even if this happens,
your family will always be.
They help define just who you are
and will be a part of you eternally.” — Excerpted from ‘A Family is Like a Circle‘ by Nicole M. O’Neil
Yes, some families are worth loving and keeping. But, let’s admit it, there are also family members with whom we’d like to cut ties forever.
It’s why the saying, ‘You can choose your friends but not your relatives,’ remains popular all over the world. Every one of us has relatives whom we want to cast out from our lives so we can attain lasting happiness and peace of mind.
Here’s another viral post on Reddit that will make you agree that the older brother in this story doesn’t deserve the love and support of his younger brother. In fact, he and his wife should learn how to raise a family responsibly and stop being brood parasites.
Published by an Original Poster with the username u/ThrowAwayUncle44 in Reddit’s popular r/AmItheA–hole forum, here’s the story of this abused younger brother: “My (24M) brother ‘Luke’ (31M), his wife ‘Emma’ (28F), and their son ‘Kyle’ (4m) moved to my city last year because Emma got a new job. They occasionally asked me to watch Kyle, because I work from home with very flexible hours. I personally do not like kids at all, but I was happy to do it at the time because I wanted to help them, and it was not that often (maybe once or twice every 2 weeks), and Kyle was very well-behaved.”
However, the problem started late last year when OP’s older brother made a decision to change his career. He used to be a work-from-home employee like OP, but now he’s required to go to work more frequently but earns less. The situation made his family more dependent on OP, who was now obliged to look after their son about three days a week.
What’s worse, their son’s behavior was no longer the same. Now, OP could hardly bear the kid’s attitude, as he kept on running and screaming while he worked.
But things grew even more aggravating during one of his SIL’s visits to pick up her son. OP wrote, “My SIL Emma was over the other day picking up Kyle and made some comments about getting rid of some of the ‘dangerous’ furniture in my house, like tables with glass edges and stuff so that my home is safer for their son and made a joke about baby proofing my house because they’re planning to have a daughter. This pissed me off, but I didn’t say anything.”
But the situation reached its breaking point when OP started to talk about the trip he was planning to take with his girlfriend. They would be away for a week and a half, something they had been looking forward to after two months of no traveling because OP had been busy taking care of Kyle. It’s been their agreement since long before to go somewhere special at least once a month, and now they wanted to take the opportunity to go to an exotic destination.
However, upon hearing about OP and his girlfriend’s plan, his brother and SIL reacted angrily, because there was no one to take care of their son when OP was gone. They told him to stop these “childish trips” and take his responsibility seriously since he was already an uncle.
OP continued to relate in his post, “I’m not gonna lie, after hearing this, I f-cking snapped. I said that their demon child isn’t my responsibility and I won’t give up my life because they f-cked without a condom. It got pretty obscene from there, and some horrible things were said. They left, and we are no longer on speaking terms. My parents and Emma’s parents are on their side and EXTREMELY angry at me for ‘refusing to pull my weight.’ My parents said that this is my duty and I should be sacrificing everything to help them.”
All these words from his own family made OP extremely lonely. Now, he’s wondering if he should be taking more responsibility for the sake of his brother and his family.
Is he a jerk for choosing to travel with his girlfriend over caring for his nephew?
The judgment of the AITA community? A resounding NTA. And OP must really set his boundaries now since his abusive brother and SIL intend to turn his home into a daycare forever. As for their parents and SIL’s parents, who wanted OP to “pull his weight,” they should prove their righteousness by devoting themselves to taking care of their grandchild for the same amount of time.Whizzco