Child care is certainly a challenging task given to parents. Both mother and father should contribute, as teamwork will make the responsibility a lot easier. Tasks must not be based on gender roles — being a capable adult is the only requirement in caring for a baby. It’s not always the mother’s duty to join the baby during sleepless nights. Division of labor is significant — whether you’re a married couple or just co-parenting. More importantly, the two of you must meet in the middle. Learn to compromise and see what works for your situation, especially when the other one or both of you has a day job. Expect to make sacrifices as a parent. Your children are at the top of your priority list now — a job you signed up for that requires you to be more responsible and reliable.
Parents must stay true to their daily errands, although difficult from the start. You had enough waiting time to prepare yourself for the changes and sacrifices to be made. One of those expectations is that the infant will be needing your constant attention. You have to attend to them even when they are not crying. That’s what AdditionFamiliar655 thought when she and her husband decided on their living arrangements. The couple has a four-month-old daughter, and the husband is her daily companion. Since OP is the only one employed, she left the responsibility to her husband during the day. They thought about daycare, but it was not within their budget.
Her husband agreed, although he was reluctant at first. However, he had no choice, especially since he’s been completely unemployed since 2021. “He receives benefits. It’s also important to know that he’s extremely lazy. He doesn’t cook, clean, or help out in any way. I was nervous about leaving her home with her father, but I had no choice. When I came back from work she was clean, and sleeping,” OP wrote. AdditionFamiliar655 was beginning to fully trust her husband until one of their neighbors approached with concern. Apparently, he wasn’t actually reliable, as he would leave the child unattended — leaving her crying for hours. Naturally, the neighbor would hear that, and out of concern, she checked the father and daughter’s situation.
“My neighbor said that she knocked on our door, and he finally answered it. He was sleeping. I concluded that he sleeps all day, and right before I come home, he pretends to care for her,” OP shared. To see if her husband is indeed cheating his way through parenting, AdditionFamiliar655 devised a plan. One day, she took a day off and pretended to leave the house for work. Little did the husband know, it was a strategy to catch his terrible scheme. OP waited thirty minutes to return home, and there she saw her husband sleeping soundly. He was even wearing noise-canceling headphones, so he remains unbothered by his own daughter. AdditionFamiliar655 was adamant in making him learn his lesson — she planned to scare her husband by making him think their daughter went missing.
“I went to my daughters room, scooped her up, and took her to my friends house. I waited about two hours, and I finally called him to tell him that I was coming home early. He called me back saying that he can’t find the baby. He told me that he was going to call the police, but before he did, I told him what I did,” OP explained. The husband was furious, which eventually led to a panic attack. OP arrived home and saw her mother-in-law comforting her son. Both were mad at her, and that night, her husband went with his mother. The news spread among family members, and they were all horrified by OP’s method of teaching responsibility. Despite being aware that she took it too far, she never thought terribly about herself.
The family might have sided with the husband, but OP received support from other Redditors. “You are lucky your neighbor told you and didn’t call CPS. Because this is neglect, and dangerous. I’d divorce my husband over this, period,” katelynajones commented. A lot of things could have happened if a four-month-old infant was left unsupervised. Babies are susceptible to danger, and the distress they feel is bad for their health. Crying for hours is already a call for help, which the father deliberately ignored.
AndSoItGoes24 wrote, “Don’t feel guilty about reevaluating your life, OK? Your child is dependent. Your husband is independent. He’s not the baby anymore. And we all at times rethink our decisions and come up with better plans for the future. Be well. I’m sorry this came as such a shock to you. Truly.”
Imagine the stress of having a day job and dealing with a child at home. The husband was the child — he should’ve acted as an adult and been a cooperative partner. OP might have taught him a lesson in the most terrifying way, but it had to be done. It only showed her husband’s true colors — no child deserves that kind of treatment. He better find work for himself or learn to step up before OP finally comes to a conclusion.