Most of us are guilty of spending a bit too much time on our phones, which can get under the skin of our loved ones. One man decided to use his phone repeatedly in the delivery room while his wife was giving birth to their child, and her response was discussed in a viral Reddit thread this week.
In a thread on the subreddit AmITheA**hole, user Moody009 said she had recently gone through a 26-hour labor without an epidural. While she was focusing on the labor, her husband was doing something else: calling his friends and playing games on his phone.
Moody009 wrote, “He really wanted to talk to them because his friends went on a boys trip without him because I asked to stay back so he could be here when I went into labor, they were calling to tell him about how their trip was going.
“He apologize (sic) to them blaming it on me being a nag. I was really annoyed and told him if he wanted to talk to his friend he could do that elsewhere so I can be in pain in peace.”
While she said he stayed off of his phone for a little while after that, he started up again, including FaceTiming with his mother and making his wife talk to her, too. After her mother-in-law made some comments that got under her skin, Moody009 said the nurse noticed her agitation and asked if she was doing alright.
She responded saying she wanted to be left alone, so the nurse kicked her husband out. Then he left the hospital in anger, causing him to miss the birth of their daughter.
Moody009 wrote, “He refused to come see his daughter afterwards because he was angry at me for kicking him out, my mother in law who did visit me in the hospital wouldn’t stop taking about how I’m such a bad wife for removing my husband from the room.
“When I got home he kept on bringing up how I ruined a moment of bonding with his daughter and how he could never forgive me for that.”
She then asked her fellow Redditors if they thought she was the a**hole in this situation.
Within two days, the thread had over 16,000 upvotes and she had been deemed not the a**hole. The top comments argued that her husband wasn’t being mature in the situation, he should have been focusing on his wife in her vulnerable state, and that he didn’t need to leave the hospital altogether in anger.
One of the replies came from user Forward_Squirrel8879, who gave the original poster a reply with what they believed she should say to her husband. It ended with, “I am mad that you are still making this situation about yourself and playing the victim instead of celebrating that I gave birth to our daughter.”
Others argued that when a woman is in labor, her partner’s main job is to be there to help in any way that she needs, and that the nurse was looking out for her needs when she asked him to leave.
There were also concerns about her mother-in-law’s behavior, with user blueberryyogurtcup writing, “I’d stop having visits from her. She lies. You aren’t a bad wife. You were objecting to his bad behaviors, and the nurse did something to protect you so you could do your labor. He is at fault here. Not you. MIL is also at fault here, not you.”
So what can you do to provide good support when someone you love is in labor? University of New Mexico Health says you can help time contractions, while away the time together with games or walks down the halls, help them with breathing and relaxation, massage their back, and be an encouraging presence.