The divorce rate in the United States of America is decreasing, but these facts from Wilkinson and Finkbeiner for the year 2022 will still astound you:
- Almost half of all marriages in the US will end in divorce or separation.
- Based on estimates by researchers, 41 percent of all first marriages end in divorce.
- On the other hand, 60 percent of second marriages are estimated to end in divorce.
- As for all third marriages, 73 percent likewise end in divorce.
- Currently, the United States has the 6th highest divorce rate in the world.
The question is, Will the marriage of this husband who’s tied to a covert narcissistic wife also end up in divorce?
Before writing his post on Reddit, OP has already sent an email to a divorce lawyer since he felt he has already reached the limit of his patience.
OP wrote the post under r/TrueOffMyChest which, according to Reddit, is “a place to get personal things off your chest. Not for opinions, not for relationship advice, and not for preaching.”
But many Reddit users like the post that it has now gained more than 21,000 upvotes with a lot of commenters sympathizing with OP. Others are requesting updates.
OP begins his story by revealing his being married to a woman who’s obsessed with pleasing her best friend and sister-in-law (SIL). Over time, it has become aggravating, since his wife would give in to SIL’s every ask, which includes running errands, babysitting, etc. She would even volunteer OP to help SIL’s family without his knowledge and consent.
Finally, he reached the end of his rope at a children’s party, as he related the following details on his post:
“We were at my nephew’s birthday party today. My SIL is the one who’s hosting it, so my wife is super keen for things to go well. Things were going ok – my daughter (3) was a bit upset because her balloon animal had accidentally been popped. So she’s standing with my wife getting a cuddle, and a boy (older than her, 5/6) sprints into her and knocks her over. She’s crying obviously, and I pick her up. My wife is making a joke of it saying “oh she needs to watch where she’s going”. I said back to her “don’t blame her for getting bowled over by the bigger boy”. Now, apparently the mother of this other kid was in earshot, which prompted my wife to tell me (in front of one of her other best friends and a couple of other guests) to “Shut my mouth.” Then she had the cheek to tell me to not have a moody face.”
After years of enduring his wife’s overbearing attitude and lack of respect for him, OP snapped. No, he did not confront her at the party but instead, as already mentioned, he decided to start consulting a lawyer about divorce.
Many were of the opinion that it was time for him to end his marriage to such a despicable person. And now, since many have been requesting updates, OP provides this latest development.
Yes, he has talked with his wife including about the possibility of her being gay and in love with SIL. But his wife denied it, saying that she was just feeling guilty about something that happened in the past — involving kissing with SIL — but that was all. She said she is straight, and that she just did not want her brother, SIL’s husband, to learn about it which may result in very awkward situations.
OP continued to say: “I told her I didn’t care about what she did that long ago, but that it needed to stop impacting our relationship in the present because I am the thinnest of thin hairs away from walking away forever. She (surprisingly) apologised again, and said that she’d really try to work on it. I told her that I needed to see some proof of that, so she can consider herself on probation. I told her that if I feel that it’s happened again, I’ll be taking our daughter to stay at my mum’s. She accepted this, so we’re proceeding cautiously.”
And he ended his latest post with: “Sorry if this isn’t the update you were all hoping for, but I think it’s the best thing for the three of us right now.”
Nonetheless, not too many people believe that his wife would change for the better after suffering similar experiences with narcissistic family members, so-called friends, and co-workers.
“She’ll probably tell him to shut his mouth again. Toxic witch. I hate people like her that bend over backwards to help people that shouldn’t be her priority. And fucks over the people that should. I have a sister exactly like that. Haven’t spoken to her in almost five years. Good riddance,” writes one Reddit user.
“Same thing with my sister. A lot of people think she’s funny and great and kind. She’s made my mom cry more times than I can count, calls her bf horrible names behind his back, has made fun of my sister for her medical problems, and was so awful to me for years that I wanted to off myself just to get away. When she moved out, it was finally peaceful. But she can put on a nice show for everybody,” remarks another.
“My ex-husband loved being the big strong manly savior. He collected broken women as his friends that I called his wounded birds. He also left me alone in the emergency room on the verge of getting admitted for intravascular clotting to go the the bar with his friends,” relates a very disappointed wife.
While another Reddit commenter frankly says, “Covert narcissism dude. They drop everything for others so they are seen as a great person in their peer group, meanwhile those around them are left scratching their heads at why they never see that type of support. It’s about projecting an image that you are a good person.”
What do you think? Is his wife worth being given a second chance?