No matter how terrifying getting old is, a person’s birthday is still an important occasion. It’s the one day someone is entitled to feel special and loved — no questions asked. Even when the celebrant doesn’t vocally express their birthday wish, their loved ones have to make the day remarkable. You don’t always have to do something grand. Planning a simple dinner party, giving them presents, or taking them on a trip will be appreciated. It’s the thought that counts — you are celebrating their life in any possible way you can. Even a greeting or a cake is enough to complete their day. The important thing is you acknowledge the day they were born and are glad they reached that particular age.
Some people are natural at making plans and are very talented gift-givers, while others find it difficult to do those things. However, when you have a loved one who is a natural giver, you can at least make an effort during their birthdays. Anything will do, and that’s what Stitch_and_Trex complained about her husband on Reddit for. Her spouse might have reasons, but the fact that he didn’t think of any birthday plans was unacceptable. Also, after years of living together, he must definitely know that OP treats birthdays importantly and loves to plan celebrations for others. Among their family and relatives, Stitch_and_Trex is the giver and the planner.
Furthermore, she shared that she’s a stay-at-home mom because their son needs a guardian. He has complex medical and behavioral needs — she’s on mom duty 24/7 and could not take breaks despite having respiratory problems. A loving husband would have the initiative to plan a birthday celebration or a gift that could help OP relax for a day. She deserves appreciation for her hard work and selflessness. And even though she’s a full-time mother, OP arranged a weekend getaway for her partner’s birthday. She makes time for everyone, which is already an excellent gift.
“For my birthday, I tell him I just want help with the kids, the house cleaned, a nap, and him to cook supper or take me out. Maybe a homemade gift from the kids and a cake,” Stich_and_Trex wrote. “Yesterday, my husband starts complaining of a sore throat. I check his throat, and it looks fine. No fever or other symptoms. He stays up all night playing video games.” Throughout OP’s birthday, the husband went on and on about his cold. He kept on acting nonchalant, and his focus was only on his Xbox. It was alright not to celebrate her birthday when he was “sick,” but seeing him busy with other things was infuriating.
“Meanwhile, I make my own cake, take care of the kids as usual, and do my usual chores. He didn’t even tell me happy birthday,” she shared. “Finally, I decided to take the cake I made with the kids to my parents’ house to have supper there so I didn’t have to cook. I’m pretty crabby at this point and don’t say a word before we leave.” When the husband noticed that they already left, he called her to know what was going on. OP couldn’t help but let out all her frustrations. And instead of getting an apology, the husband said she was overacting and that she should understand better.
The husband’s behavior was acceptable if everything was all part of an act to surprise her, but it wasn’t. He really remained nonchalant — he never understood the assignment. OP asked Redditors if it’s alright to be the receiver once in a while instead of the giver. The comment section was filled with validations — birthdays are still worth celebrating even when you’re already an adult. “NTA. You did your job in communicating what you wanted. The fact that he did not show any concern for you shows a lot. Caregivers need care too!” 3Dog_Nitz commented. Also, they are husband and wife, which makes OP’s pain more valid. She wasn’t even asking for something lavish, yet the husband thinks she’s asking for too much.
Redditors have been cheering OP and greeting her with a happy birthday. She even replied to some of them and expressed gratitude for their touching messages. Strangers from the internet did more than what the husband did — they were just simple messages, but it already meant a lot for OP. Others also pointed out that the husband also failed to know his priorities. Equivalent_Copy1273 wrote, “NTA. Sounds like your husband is one of your kids and not an adult. He’s over 21, so he shouldn’t be gaming till 4 am.” Gaming until the sun comes up sounds more childish than celebrating birthdays when you’re over 21. If you understand OP, make sure you leave heartfelt messages and validations in the comment section. It will be a present she would surely appreciate.Whizzco