A mother just turned into a green-eyed monster with envy.
And now she’s demanding financial help from her ex-husband too to afford the comforts she’s been dreaming of for herself. This was after her ex-husband bought some expensive sporting goods for the son that this monster of a mother has long been neglecting.
The story begins with these words from the original poster (OP) with the username u/Independent-Safe2757: “I (45M) and my ex Emy (46F) got together 3 years ago and broke up last year. My son, Leo, is 17, and Emi’s son, Nate, is 16. Emy and her son moved into my house in June 2021. She and I were supposed to have split custody, one week each. At the end of September, Nate told us that his father wasn’t always here, that he was often alone, and asked us if he could stay at my house. Emy and I said yes.”
But even with all the generosity that OP has been showing toward Emy and her son, Emy refuses to take responsibility for her own child. This is her character flaw that caused the break-up between her and OP.
Continuing with his post on Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole forum, OP wrote, “Emy and I broke up in February 2022, and she left my house in April. I was worried about Nate, so I proposed to Nate’s father to help him take care of him. Long story short, he said yes, and now during Nate’s father’s week, I have him and Leo at my house. Nate still has his room, and everything is the same as before. Me and Leo’s mom have more money than my ex, so I give the same amount of money to Leo and Nate when they go out so he won’t feel left out, and I buy things for him when needed.”
OP cared for Nate like his own son even though they’re not blood-related. He would take Nate with his family abroad and pay for everything. Until this point, he has not heard anything from Emy, not even a thank you.
Everything seemed well, even on the part of Leo’s mom, who would accommodate both boys in her own house. She and her current husband would even attend to watch his games.
But the trouble started again with Emy and her malevolent character. OP related how his son told him about Nate’s old and worn sports gear, and he talked to Nate, who confessed that he was trying his best to save some money because he was too ashamed to ask for his help. OP felt guilty that he had overlooked it, for he has always answered Nate’s needs. And so they went out and bought sports equipment for Nate to make up to the teenager.
What happened next? OP related in his post, “On Monday, Emy called me to complain about the new gear and told me that she needed money too and she felt it was unfair of me to give/buy stuff for her son and not help her when I had the money. (She has a job, she was complaining about not being able to have new/expensive stuff).”
OP told his friends about it, and a couple of his pals answered that he was being unfair to Emy because he’s more than financially capable to help her.
However, OP admitted to the AITA community that it’s true he’s wealthy, but all of it came from hard work. He’s been helping Nate because what he sees is a much-neglected teenager. But he strongly feels that he does not owe Emy anything.
So, what’s the judgment of the AITA community?
Proud-Marketing7431 wrote, “NTA. You do not owe anyone anything. Emy is an adult and should be focused on providing for her son and taking care of herself. I think it is amazing what you are doing to help Nate, and that really shows what a wonderful person you are. To me, it sounds like Emy is jealous and wants to live a more luxurious lifestyle on your dime.”
Another remark from lellyla: “Yes. She wouldn’t take care of her son when it wasn’t her week, even though he lived with her full-time. Now she risks her son’s situation with OP because she is jealous he has new stuff and she doesn’t. She is simply a bad mother, and OP should ignore her concerns.”
XMousexx also commented, “I don’t think she actually cares about her son, unfortunately. Everything OP had described paints that kind of picture. OP just needs to hold firm and ignore her, but maybe make sure she can’t steal or coerce the son into giving her any money or expensive items he’s given him.”
To which Puzzleheaded_Ad3322 fully agreed: “Good point! OP, I think you should try to keep track of big purchases to make sure she doesn’t resell them. This situation would be different if Emy can’t provide for her child, but this seems to be about the finer things – for her and her alone. OP, you’ve got a good head on your shoulders, and it is a testament to your family’s character that you didn’t let the divorce change how you treat Nate at all. Glad you’re not married to a narcissist anymore.”