A wedding is one of the most important events in a couple’s life.
This is why every guest must also do his/her best to contribute to the happiness of the bride and groom by following wedding etiquette. Among the things to consider is the wedding dress code, which may vary from black-tie and formal attire to semi-formal and casual.
And yes, you may have heard of the “white-tie” attire, which is the most formal of all. Often, this type of attire is worn for royal ceremonies, stately dinners, opera, theater, and formal weddings. On such occasions, women wear floor-length evening gowns matched with jewelry, a sophisticated clutch bag, and heels.
The next most formal wedding dress code is a black tie for men and a floor-length gown for women that does not show the ankles at the hem. A cocktail dress is also acceptable if the wedding is a bit less formal.
Then, of course, there’s the semi-formal or dressy casual. It is the time of the day that you must consider when choosing the color of your attire. Light colors and fabric in the daytime and darker, more formal colors at night. Men must wear slacks and a dress shirt, while women should opt for a below-the-knee skirt or pantsuit.
When the dress code indicates festive, you have the freedom to choose what clothing and colors you’d like to wear. While a casual dress code usually means the wedding is to be held outdoors, so you dress according to what’s suitable for the venue and ambiance.
However, in this post by a guest whose cousin was going to get married, her girlfriend was taking too long to get ready regardless of the dress code. Posting her story on Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole forum, this Original Poster with username Junior-Coyote-5116 shared the following details: “I (f24) have a girlfriend ‘Hannah’ (f26). We were friends in college and reconnected and have been dating for around 7 months. A few days ago, it was my cousin’s wedding, and everyone was allowed a plus-one, including myself. I asked Hannah in advance if she wanted to go with me, and she agreed, she’s a huge social butterfly and loves big events.”
OP continued that the venue was around two hours away from her house, and so she reminded Hannah to get dressed early. Since the wedding would start at 2 pm, it would be best for them to leave at 11 am in OP’s opinion.
But, in spite of all the reminders and her being early at Hannah’s place, since she knew it takes her girlfriend a long time to apply makeup and get dressed, Hannah was still in her pajamas at 11 am. She kept telling OP that she was nearly done, but she really wasn’t.
Not wanting to be late for her cousin’s wedding, since it was already 11:20, OP had to leave without Hannah, who told her that she was being silly for being in a rush. She was thankful that she made it on time.
However, upon checking her phone after the wedding, OP saw that Hannah had been calling and texting her in fury. Finally, they had a chance to talk, but it caused OP to go home with a heavy heart, as she wrote, “I called her back, and she immediately started screaming at me and said that I’m obsessed with being ‘ridiculously early to things’ and said that I need to be more understanding and that if I waited 5 minutes she would’ve been ready. She said I’m a selfish jerk and need to evaluate my priorities. I wasn’t able to get any word in before Hannah hung up the phone. Since then, Hannah has been ignoring me, and I’m wondering if I was in the wrong.”
Many Redditors expressed their support for OP, while a few have also shared with her the possibility that her girlfriend may have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) that can cause time blindness.
Glass_Status_5837 gave this award-winning comment: “NTA. The people saying you were being too conservative are the ones who are habitually late. It was a two-hour drive, not 10 minutes. Google maps can guesstimate based on current traffic conditions, but it can’t predict an accident along the tour route, a rainshower causing the need to reduce speed, or an oversized vehicle with an escort crew slowing down traffic with no way to pass. Etc. Also, the wedding was due to start at 2, but, depending on the formality of the wedding, the venue, etc, you need time to park, get to the ceremony location, hang your coat, find your seat, perhaps greet the priest if it’s in a church. No one wants to be that person trying to sneak into the wedding after it’s already started. You gave her a time to be ready. Even pushed it back by half an hour. She needed to start getting ready earlier. She disrespected your time. That is what it is. Disrespect.”
Meanwhile, Tulipsarered wrote, “It’s not like she has never put on makeup and clothing — she knows how long that takes. If she is late more often than not, even for events that are very important to her, then she may have time blindness, which is a symptom of ADHD. But OP didn’t mention that she is frequently late, and if I were posting this, I would definitely mention if she had frustrated me in the same way on a regular basis.”
Exciting-Ant4077 likewise shared, “I have ADHD, and I agree. Sometimes I lose track of the time, but when my husband is constantly reminding me, I am able to step up.”
These words from Platypus211 were also filled with wisdom: “Yes. Idk if I’d characterize myself as quite having time blindness (never heard the term before, but I like it!), but I have dealt with moderate to severe ADHD my whole life and have a tendency to run late for things. So when I have something important to go to, I leave a ton of extra time and have well-established strategies that I use to avoid exactly this situation. OP gave her a 30-minute grace period; tbh that’s more than some would do!”Whizzco