The love of money is the root of all evil.
It’s a warning from the Bible, which also stated in Matthew 19:24 that “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”
Not that having money is a sin, but slaving for it – loving money more than God – is what causes men to commit transgressions.
This is an interesting story of a man who has worked hard to give his family a comfortable life. At his old age, he thought he could already rest in peace because he has saved enough to secure his children’s future.
But his kids’ obsession with the large inheritance that each of them expects to receive has destroyed their family instead.
With the username u/guiltygran, the Original Poster shared this story on Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole forum to unburden his heart and seek the opinion of the AITA community regarding his decision to splurge most of his money, leaving just a small amount for his wife and his remaining days.
Here is his post: “What you are about to read is a recent cause of emotional distress for me, regret, and I’m doing this post with the help of my colleague and his son, who insists I’m doing the right thing. I’m 63 years old. I took advantage of better times, financially speaking, and managed to get enough money to save, have a good retirement, and leave a good inheritance for my children. However, their actions in recent years have broken my heart. My oldest daughter is a lawyer, married to an attorney. I have another son who is also a lawyer, a third who became an engineer, and the youngest, who is a salesman.”
According to OP, he has been a smoker for many years, and the effects are now devastating his health. He would have still died in peace, knowing he has accumulated more than enough wealth for his family. However, when his children learned that he has only a few years to live, they started to quarrel among themselves and betray one another to obtain their inheritance before OP’s death.
As OP continued to reveal in his post, “Initially were frequent verbal discussions that escalated to legal battles. The boiling point came when my daughter forged her brothers’ signatures to take their part of the inheritance while I was being treated at the hospital. Now, none of the siblings can see each other in the eye and only talk through lawyers. Saddened by this situation, I decided to spend the money, thinking that if all of it is gone, they would have no more reasons to fight. I donated to charities, bought my wife beauty items, went on vacations with her, paid for better-looking hotel rooms (no planes because of covid travel restrictions), gave my grandkids expensive gifts, bought my dearest friends and colleagues better equipment to improve their work.”
OP, in short, has chosen to splurge his lifelong savings to put an end to their family’s bitter conflicts. He said that about 65-70 percent of his savings have now been spent, with him just setting aside enough for his wife.
However, his children have observed his spending spree and started to inquire about his activities. His daughter confronted OP after making the right conclusion that their father intends to leave them with nothing. OP’s daughter accused him of hurtful things, but he didn’t respond since most of it was true. But what made OP feel a sense of guilt was when his daughter told him that he has deprived his grandchildren of a bright future because of his selfishness.
OP realized that indeed his grandchildren should not be punished for the sins of their parents. He has overlooked the welfare of his grandchildren, and most of his wealth is gone.
OP wonders if he has been wrong in wanting to punish his kids, which could affect the fate of his grandchildren.
The response of the AITA members? Not the A–hole.
Demented-Alpaca: “NTA. HARD NTA. What’d she accuse you of? Spending YOUR money? That you earned? On a life YOU wanted? Inheritance is what you get when someone dies. It’s NOT yours. You’re not entitled to it. You don’t get to dictate what happens until you actually inherit it. You can, until the day you die, change up who gets what. You got one kid who’s not being a dick? Leave it to them. Or leave it to your grandkids in a trust their folks can’t touch. You can roll it up and smoke it. It’s YOURS. You’ve done nothing wrong. Hell, just leave it all to your wife. That’s how it should go anyway. And I’m sorry you’re at this point, man. The big C sucks (assuming that what you meant).”
EmeraldBlueZen: “THIS. OP, the money is YOURS. You are never under any obligation to leave an inheritance. You’ve saved for it your entiire life, and you get to spend it however you wish. No further conversation needed with your kids. NTA.”
mm1palmerl: “He might want to look at annuities and place them in a trust for his wife with any left going to charity (or the grandkids) when she dies. But whatever he does, he needs to set it up NOW. Because it sounds like his kids will use every tactic in the book to get their hands on ‘their inheritance,’ including possibly trying to convince a court that he is no longer competent to handle his own finances.”
asperjamboree: “OP, if you decide to leave anything for your grandkids so they don’t “suffer” according to your selfish & manipulative adult kids, then I second the option of creating a trust with an age restriction that they can only access when they turn what age you decide (I recommend 21 or 25 so they have more time as adults to learn about fiscal responsibility). They won’t suffer, and more importantly, unauthorized people can’t access their accounts. NTA x 100000.”Whizzco