“I’m divorced from my son’s mom, and she took the easy way out on the financial arrangements. Basically, I got stuck paying for things that are certain, like our sons’ private school and extracurricular activities, where she’s responsible for their health insurance and medical bills and their nanny. She doesn’t pay much for coverage, and our sons don’t need medical care. Until now.”
This is how an Original Poster with the username u/Admirable-Shallot155 started his lamentation on Reddit’s popular r/AmItheA–hole forum. He clearly despises his ex-wife for burdening him with more financial obligations concerning their sons.
His bitterness and nastiness came to the surface when one of his sons had an emergency dental situation. The eight-year-old boy had a tooth growing from the roof of his mouth which must be extracted immediately to avoid complications. OP and his ex-wife needed to find a pediatric oral surgeon since the procedure was complicated and required anesthesia.
The estranged couple was able to locate an excellent pediatric oral surgeon, but the total cost would amount to $3000. According to OP, “It’s that much because dental insurance doesn’t cover much, and an anesthesiologist is expensive. It had to be paid half before the appointment and half the day of the appointment.”
And this was where both OP and his ex-wife showed how selfish and irresponsible they both are, as OP wrote: “My ex asked me if I was going half. I said NOPE. This bill is your problem, not mine. This is what you wanted, remember? You spent the last few years with so little childcare expenses that you got used to it.”
His ex-wife responded that she didn’t have $3000 on hand, and it wouldn’t make any sense to put it on her credit card with interest rates. OP answered her that she could sell blood, he just didn’t care. That was despite the fact that he had the money to foot the bill, without hurting his pocket at all.
What did his ex-wife do so the surgery would not suffer delay? She took out a loan from her credit union.
As for OP, he further wrote in an edit: “Removing the tooth quickly had more to do with trying to get the procedure done before the holidays than medical necessity.”
What kind of parents are they? What do you think?
Not surprisingly, that many members of the AITA community were reacting with rage to this post, where both parents got slammed!
Dipping_My_Toes commented, “ESH – Your wife for trying to renege on the agreement and you for sounding more interested in sticking it to her than your son’s welfare. I see the statement that his care was never in question and presume that you would have stepped up and paid if it really had been an issue, so partial credit. But for the sake of your children, you two need to start acting like co-parents instead of squabbling toddlers.”
EmeraldBlueZen also remarked, “THIS. Please OP, think about what’s best for your son. This is not the way – to be squabbling about money right before an emergency. I’m glad everything worked out though and your son is hopefully just fine.”
Notte_di_nerezza likewise wrote, “Exactly. Does OP want to be right, or does he want his kids to be happy?”
A similar point of view from dianoraditigana says, “Probably both. He needs to love his kid more than he hates his ex, and right now it sounds about equal. This is not the way.”
ThrowawayTrainee749 likewise voiced out, “He hates his ex more than he loves his kid, or he’d have done it without a second thought.”