Another father gets barbecued by Redditors for insensitivity and idiocy! Plus, for omitting details on his post so he could win everyone’s sympathy!
This dad posted his story under the username u/throwawayaccount2701 on Reddit’s popular r/AmItheA–hole forum: “I (51M) have 2 kids (25F, 19F) with my ex, and 2 stepkids (23F, 21M) from my current marriage. 25F started college quite a few years ago and had a college fund. She got into an Ivy school and received a small % in financial aid (didn’t qualify for more). She’s now completing her masters from the same school, and doing a paid internship with a big organization. 25F still has some student loans left.”
Well, this dad was proud to announce that his stepdaughter’s getting married and that he’s contributing a substantial amount to the wedding. This, in spite of the fact that his real eldest daughter is still in debt due to her studies.
OP continued his post with, “Bottom line is that 25F found out I was paying for part of the wedding and she’s been pretty upset saying that I could’ve used some of that money to help her out. I asked her if she’s struggling with managing everything, she said no but that it isn’t fair to her or 19F that I’m spending so much on 23F’s wedding. I said that I already contributed to her college fund, and my other daughter got a full ride to her school. This has nothing to do with any of that. She got kind of angry with me and I know that she also had a bit of an argument with 23F about it. Even 19F got involved, saying that I shouldn’t be ‘throwing all this money’ for this wedding.”
One of the signs that this father is not just heartless but also idiotic was his asking the AITA community if he’s an a–hole.
Second is that he thought the members of the AITA community could be easily fooled by skipping details in his post to win them over to his side.
What this person didn’t expect was that there are many AITA members who go through the comments and replies extensively before rendering judgment, like this response from Suspicious-Bill-5943, which won awards:
“After reading your comments and understanding that you are not only paying more for your stepdaughter’s wedding than you have to either bio kids college funds, are withholding the 19yo’s access to her college fund, and will not contribute anything to your 25yo’s wedding because you ‘don’t see eye to eye’ with her fiance and he ‘already makes enough’ (without any consideration also for how much of his income is going to his own student loans)….
“YTA. Majorly so. There isn’t any equitable treatment amongst your children. You are creating issues between your daughters that may not have been there otherwise. And you’re showing blatant favoritism. You should really check yourself and your priorities – is your daughter marrying someone you personally dislike, even though he’s got his shit together and is decent to her, really worth tanking your relationship? Also double YTA because you left out some seriously important info in your initial post to gain sympathy points by misleading commenters.”
Another candid remark from Coffee-Historian-11: “I don’t understand why people post here and omit details to make themselves look better. Like, if you’re omitting details, people can’t judge the story correctly anyways. Plus, I’m assuming people already know that they’re the AH if they need to hide some parts to make themselves look better.”
OwOitsMochi also added, “This comment said all that needed to be said. OP, YTA. You delivered a twisted version of events trying to make it seem like you aren’t, but you’re definitely the a–hole when more context is added.”
And this commenter, Basic-Elderberry-744, was just as repulsed as the others who judged this heartless dad: “So you give your biological daughter a small college fund which you admit is less than the amount you’re giving your step daughter for her wedding, leaving your daughter to pay off her own education as if that’s less important than someone’s wedding. A wedding is not a necessity. They could hold off on having it to save up money or just have a less grand one. You’re showing where your loyalty, love and most obviously favoritism lies. You are absolutely the a**hole, sir.”Whizzco