Father to Son: You’re Getting Married Again? We’re Busy Taking Care of the Family You Left Behind
“Give me a son, O Lord,
Who will be strong enough to know when he is weak.
And brave enough to face himself when he is afraid;
One who will be proud and unbending in defeat.
But humble and gentle in victory;
A son who will know that to know himself
Is the foundation stone of all true knowledge.
Rear him, I pray, not in the paths of ease and comfort.
But under the stress of difficulties and challenges.
Let him learn to stand in the storm;
Let him learn compassion for those who fail.
Give me a son whose heart will be clean.
Whose goal will be high;
A son who will master himself
Before he seeks to master other men;
One who will learn to laugh.
Yet never forget how to weep;
One who will reach into the future,
Yet never forget the past.
Then I, his father, will dare
In the sacred recesses of my own heart
To whisper ‘I have not lived in vain.'” Excerpted from Give Me A Son by Anonymous
This father has every good intention in his heart for his son, every good wish and every good dream.
But sometimes, even with the best efforts, a parent could end up harvesting bitter fruits. He and his wife have raised a responsible and sensible daughter, but their son has gone astray.
With the username u/flaggingd, this dad wrote his story on Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole forum out of hope that he could get his son back on the right path before it’s too late.
He wrote, “After graduating high school, my son moved 3 states away for college. At 19, he married a girl he met; I tried convincing him to wait because I personally felt he was too immature. They both dropped out and moved back here to his hometown. At 20, they had their first child, a beautiful little girl. 16 months later, my DIL gave birth to their second child, a little boy. After the first baby, my wife and I noticed our DIL wasn’t happy. We both thought it was PPD-related. Just after the second arrived, my son and his wife separated. She would bring the kids over for a visit, and it was then she began unloading on us. I know there are two sides to every story, but considering I know my son, I believed her.”
OP tried to talk to his son many times about his marriage, but he refused to be responsible. He blamed his wife for every problem that they were having. They went into counseling, and things seemed okay for about a year. Then, OP’s DIL filed for divorce.
However, to OP and his wife’s astonishment, their son announced his new girlfriend on Facebook just three days after his wife’s divorce filing. Then, four weeks later, they were already engaged.
OP’s family was more sympathetic toward their grandkids and DIL, whom his son had obliged to be a stay-at-home mom. Without any parents or relatives, the young mother was lost and penniless. And so, they decided to help her get an apartment and support their family’s needs.
There are more shocking developments, as OP revealed further in his post: “Before the divorce was even finalized, we received a wedding invitation. I made it clear to my son I would not be attending and they would not have my blessing. His mother told him she would see to it that I would attend. I stayed consistent in my decision; I also asked him not to bring his fiancée around our house out of respect for the mother of his children. The wedding happened on February 11. The night before, my wife gave me the finial push. I did not attend. Our daughter also did not attend for the same reasons. My wife picked up our grandkids, got them dressed, and attended the wedding. My daughter and I decided to spend the evening with his ex. I couldn’t imagine her sitting alone while her kids attended their father’s wedding.”
His DIL was greatly surprised that OP and his daughter chose not to attend the wedding. But they intended to help her not focus on her ex marrying another woman. They assured her that she would always be family to them. His DIL cried in gratitude, especially when OP’s daughter told her that they could drop the in-law status and become true sisters.
Well, the following morning, OP’s son called him up angrily, accusing him of being a horrible father for not attending his wedding. He also later learned that OP and his sister went to see his ex on his nuptial day. This made him even more furious, claiming that it was the “ultimate betrayal” and, that if they wanted to rebuild their relationship with him, it would be on his terms.
In an update, OP thanked everyone for their support and encouragement. He said that he was sure that he was doing the right thing. His son saw his post, while his daughter sent him a text to say that OP’s story had gone viral. They had a good laugh together. But his son reacted bitterly to his dad’s post by saying to his mom, “He’s dead to me now.”
What was this dad’s response? OP simply wrote, “Time will tell if he means that. I’m sure he’ll see this update too. For that reason, I’m positively certain the second he needs another cash loan, I won’t be dead anymore. His mom told him, ‘Your children have to be our number one priority.’ They’re not just some disposable items you can leave behind when one chapter of your life closes. Maybe one day, he’ll understand this.”
Yes, who knows if the prodigal son in this story will learn his lesson too and turn back with a repentant heart?
