A daughter pities her mom who has to struggle to raise her along with her four younger stepsiblings.
The eldest of them didn’t have to suffer the material deprivation that the rest of them have experienced because his dad has been providing for all his needs since childhood.
The daughter wants this eldest brother of theirs to hate his dad as much as they hate him. They’ve been accusing his dad of utter selfishness for looking after him only when the rest of them needed financial support and parental care too.
But the son, the Original Poster of this story with the username u/Specialist_Bake_1036, is steadfast in defending his father. If their mom had not cheated on his dad, they all would have been a happy family.
Published on Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole forum, this is how OP told the whole story: “My parents were married and had me, then my mom cheated on my dad while I was still a baby and got pregnant with another man’s child. My dad filed for divorce and established through the courts that he was not the father of my half-sister and fought not to have parental responsibility for her. My dad did get shared custody of me and because of shared custody did not have to pay child support. My half-sister’s bio father was unknown and while mom did try to find him, was unsuccessful. My mom went on to have four more kids with four different guys. My dad continued to take care of me but never took them on.”
OP continued to say that the courts ordered him to stay with his mom since they did not believe that the situation was bad enough for his sake. However, his dad had always made sure that OP had everything he needed, especially during those times when their mom struggled to make a living. Of course, this meant that OP was enjoying a better life compared to his siblings. As a result, all of his stepsiblings hate his dad, which was further fueled by all the angry lies that their mom had been feeding her children about her ex-husband.
Their mom had also tried to poison OP’s mind about his dad, how he treated her badly, the way he rejected his half-sister in court, and his insensitivity to their sufferings. But OP loved his dad, and when he turned 16, he decided to finally live with his father.
But the family conflict did not end with that decision, as OP wrote further in his post, “I just turned 20, and my half-sister is 18. She came after me to argue and to have it out over my dad. She accused me of being a d-ck for not being mad at dad. She then went on to tell me a story about mom struggling to afford diapers and how dad made sure to send diapers that were just in my size instead of money so mom could buy them for both of us and how he even saw her out with us once and bought stuff that could be just used on me when she was right there. I told her I didn’t see what my dad did as wrong because he was never her dad. She said he could have been but he rejected her in court. I told her again that to me, dad did nothing wrong.”
Because of those words, OP’s half-sister hated him just as much too. She kept insisting that he should be furious with his dad for allowing their siblings to suffer hunger and lack of proper care. His half-sister accused him of being as heartless as his father.
Is OP really callous for taking his dad’s side and overlooking his stepsiblings’ hardship?
The AITA community did not think so. In fact, according to many commenters, the blame should be placed on their immoral mom and his stepsiblings’ missing dads.
WiddlyScudsTV wrote, “Absolutely NTA. Their anger is directed at your dad because they saw him providing for you. He is not obligated to spend a dime on your half-siblings. Where are their dads? that’s where their anger needs to be directed to.”
DisneyBuckeye likewise commented, “6 kids with 6 different dads!! 🤯 It had to have been at least somewhat on purpose… I mean, wouldn’t she learn about condoms at SOME POINT?”
PuzzledLight also shared these words, “The blame should be, but with how T H O R O U G H L Y a toxic parent can brainwash their kids into buying their narrative? She’s told them all her life it wasn’t her fault. They’re gonna need distance from the mom before they see the light.”
The same idea echoed by -too-hot-to-handle- says, “Yep. I think OP should’ve pointed out that their mom is the one who continued having kids she couldn’t afford, and she’s the reason they weren’t properly taken care of. Responsibility of care was on her, and she failed.”