Starting a life with your partner means being prepared to share responsibilities. The reality of living together is a series of well-thought-out adult decisions, especially when it comes to finances. The people involved in the relationship must be good at handling money and have separate savings. Both should be responsible for paying rent, mortgage, utilities, groceries, etc. The task shouldn’t be assigned to just one person. Relationships are supposed to be built with teamwork and respecting each other’s individuality.
Money is often the root cause of feuds between partners. For this reason, it’s essential to talk things through with them before moving in together. Communicating your thoughts and feelings will lead both of you to a strengthened bond. If not, the relationship will fall to pieces, just like what happened to Throwaway5767411 and her boyfriend. People must understand that taking advantage of someone’s affection is never right. The day will come when they realize they are being used and snap when it is too much.
Living together for 3 years, OP and her fiancé agreed to split finances until after the wedding. However, ever since they started to move to the next level, her partner, who also has a stable job, turned out to be stingy. “He doesn’t pay when we eat out, he doesn’t pay for any fixes in our rental apartment, and also doesn’t help with furniture and stuff. I tried to have conversations about how I’m always supposed to foot the bill for almost everything. His excuse is that he’s been saving for a new apartment (been saving up for 2 years now). ”
It is more frustrating because her boyfriend can afford gadgets and gaming stuff. His reason is that it is his money, and OP has no say in how he spends it. Moreover, he keeps using the new apartment card, so OP would let the issue go. Throwaway5767411 has been holding it all in until an incident in the hospital made her snap. It was the last straw, as she felt overly used by her boyfriend.
“Days ago, he called me and asked that I take him to the hospital to treat his ankle. It’s been hurting him for weeks, but only now he decided to get it checked. I drove him there since he was in pain but was surprised when he told me to pay the bill,” OP shared. “I asked why not him, and he brought up the new apartment he’s been saving for again. I had it, especially after he threatened to not add my name to the new apartment’s title if I refuse to help him out.”
The boyfriend even dared to call OP “not partner material,” selfish, and negative. “I told him I felt like he was using the new apartment to spend my money, but he said I had no empathy or sense of responsibility to support and help him out when he…is doing me a huge favor and buying me an entire freaking apartment.” Her partner was clearly feeling entitled and needed to realize that it was his loss to treat OP that way.
Throwaway5767411 received the support of Reddit users as she gained 7.5k upvotes and 1.7k comments. Status-Pattern7539 commented, “NTA. You are being used. 100% when he has enough money for the apartment, he dumps you. Stop footing the bill. Leave him.”
A lot of Reddit users were advising OP to break up with her boyfriend since he has already shown numerous red flags in the relationship. “NTA…also honey..He hasn’t saved for an apartment. He’ll have an excuse when the time comes. Don’t marry this user. You’re worth more,” Background-Pitch9339 wrote.
You can find pieces of advice, affirmations, and validations in the comment section. OP certainly needs all the kind words to empower her to stand her ground. The guy seriously has some growing up to do, and tolerating him isn’t the right path to take. Relationships can truly test your maturity — you’ll either grow up or mature backward. If you had a similar experience to OP’s or want to help her, join the Reddit discussion now. Your wise words can help a person today — not just OP but also those readers in a problematic relationship.Whizzco