Cancer Survivor Leaves His Family Out of His Will After Discovering They Were Waiting for Him to Die
To be diagnosed with cancer is agonizing enough.
But to discover that your own family was just waiting for you to die so they could become rich is more than heartbreaking. It’s sickening.
However, this Original Poster still has so much to be thankful for. First, his cancer was a misdiagnosis. Second, he has a girlfriend whose love for him is faithful and unwavering. Third, he came to realize who are worthy of his trust, affection, and all the wealth he would one day leave behind — and those people do not include his family, for a certainty.
OP told his story in his post to Reddit’s popular r/AmItheA–hole community, “I (m47) was diagnosed with cancer about 6 months ago. I don’t know what happened, but I was misdiagnosed. It wasn’t malignant as the initial diagnosis. Anyway, I’m recovering. I don’t know why but it felt like mum (f73) and sister (f35) weren’t all glad about me recovering. I didn’t make a fuss, but I told my gf(f38) about my observation. She told me not to worry and that they were probably still in shock.”
But, one day, OP was able to confirm his observation. It happened when he and his girlfriend were invited to dinner by his mom. “That’s when my nephew (m12) was a bit angry and blurted out something about him thinking he was gonna be rich soon because I was sick. It felt like a gut punch. I’m child-free so I don’t really know when people start being a-holes. But it felt like he’s still too young for that, so the next explanation is that he’s heard the adults around him? I laughed and looked at my family. They pretended that they didn’t hear. Only my gf watched me in horror.”
OP said that he asked his nephew why he would think he would get rich when he has a girlfriend. That was when he saw his sister turn around upon hearing his words.
As if the pain of the realization was not enough, OP’s mom called him up the following day, wanting to ask about his intended heir but could not bring up the subject directly. But OP has made up his mind, saying on Reddit: “I never discussed my will with anyone, but what were they expecting? I’ve been with my gf for 13 years. She’s the love of my life and my family. WTF is going on? I’m changing my will, excluding my nephews, who I thought I would leave some for. It’s going to charity instead.”
Is it the right thing? And what if his family brings the matter to court, should the time come?
Redditors give OP the answers and support he needs:
According to BiofilmWarrior, “You should also ask about structuring your will to minimize the chance of relatives contesting that will. That may mean leaving a small amount to each family member, or it may be that you only need to specify that they have deliberately been excluded, but that is advice you should get from an attorney.”
Meanwhile, readersanon added, “At that point, if you think your family is going to cause that much trouble, you should be getting a notarized statement saying you are making this decision of your own volition and that you are of sound mind at the time of drawing up the will. Or leave explicit reasons as to why people are being excluded. Some people suck though, so I do understand why precautions are necessary.”
This commenter, fateofmorality, likewise agreed: “Absolutely 100%. Realistically, they should get married or at least some sort of domestic partnership so there is a stronger legal basis in a will. On the inverse, there have been stories of toxic girlfriends swooning a man before he dies and then gobbling up the inheritance. Not saying this man’s girlfriend is, but it has happened, and the family would argue something like that. Being married adds a very strong legal ground.”
On the other hand, manga_star67 has another practical suggestion: “this is where a living trust comes into play, it’s stronger legally than a will.”
