Best Man Dropped Out 2 Days Before the Wedding Because His Wife Wasn’t Invited to the Venue
Many people can easily show care for those with disabilities, but sometimes it’s not genuine. They can make it sound like a concern, but there is a subtle message between their words. Someone might suggest an idea to help a person with a disability, but in reality, they don’t want to be inconvenienced. For instance, not inviting an immobile person to a family dinner because you have to assist them in a wheelchair. It is a good suggestion to not tire the person out, but you are actually excluding them to avoid inconvenience. Such gestures can offend someone or make them feel bad about themselves. It hurts more when it comes from a family member you expect to better understand the situation.
A guy from Reddit feels deeply offended by that kind of mindset. He was not the one who got excluded, but it was his wife — aitaaccount54156 could not take the disrespect they got during his brother’s wedding preparations. At first, everything was alright; OP was his brother’s best man, and they were all in a celebratory mood. It was a 12+ wedding, which meant no children around. The couple prepared a separate venue for the kids, who will be accompanied by a professional sitter. It was a well-thought-out plan — grown-ups could really enjoy their kind of fun. However nice, the separate venue became the root cause of the conflict between brothers and in-laws.
“My wife has some injuries that make her slow to respond/understand what others are saying, and she needs help sometimes with her food – I’ll cut it up into small pieces. This doesn’t mean she’s nothing, and she’s a smart, capable woman,” aitaaccount54156 explained. “They had the rehearsal dinner. At the end, my SIL pulled me aside, saying she had to discuss something with me. She said they told us about the additional venue they’ll be having for their wedding. I said yes. Then she asked if my wife had any particular food preferences and said they would order extra food for her there.”
Turns out the couple wanted OP’s wife to be at the second venue with the sitter. His sister-in-law even justified her plan by trying to convince him that he’d have “more fun” and would not be obligated to feed his wife. OP was immensely offended by their decision and talked about it with his brother. However, the brother agreed with his bride, saying it was for the best. The disrespect was so evident that aitaaccount54156 stormed out of the place — leaving the position of best man vacant. “Well, all hell broke loose, and some people agreed I was right, but my parents texted, called, everything, saying they don’t agree with this either, but it’s their choice and to get over my ego and come,” he wrote.
The wedding passed, but the feud continued. OP even received texts from both his brother and sister-in-law. They were blaming him for ruining their plans, but Redditors think otherwise. “The longer I read, the higher I raised my eyebrows. I did not know they could go that high. This story just got worse and worse. This couple got hit with the “wedding syndrome” hard and ran wild with it,” kill4kandy commented. They were indeed questionable, as if OP’s wife wasn’t a family member and an adult. People always respect the bride’s decision during weddings, but there’s a limit to accepting her requests. Also, aitaccount54156’s wife did not do anything against them, but they are adamant about excluding her from the “fun” party.
“As someone who works with people with disabilities, I totally believe this happened. Ableist and casually cruel people come out at special events. NTA, and you are an example of a husband who believes in his wedding vows,” Ethelfleda said. His wife never did anything wrong — her disability should not embarrass them. OP surely is a great husband, and Redditors have praised him for standing up for his wife. His brother should take notes on how to be a better man and an admirable husband. Marriage is not all about shiny and pretty things; it’s about being each other’s support system and accountability partner.
