Bride to Stepdad: I’m Sorry, But I Want My Uncle to Walk Me Down the Aisle

A mother and her husband are bitterly accusing a young woman of selfishness and disrespect as her wedding day approaches.

The young woman, who lost her father when she was still a baby, has asked her dad’s brother to walk her down the aisle instead of the man whom her mother married after getting widowed. Her decision was such a big blow to her stepdad’s ego, and everyone in their family has joined in assailing her the bride’s character for her alleged ingratitude.

She’s the bride and Original Poster with the username u/TroubleInSnow, who shared her story on Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole forum. She wrote: “My mom met her husband when I was 17, and she married him after five months of knowing him. I was already living with my grandparents so I could attend college when he moved in with her. So we never lived together. He never parented me or put a roof over my head or any of the stuff that some might say makes him worthy of playing Father of the Bride. He’s an okay guy, but I don’t love him or feel particularly close to him. He’s just my mom’s husband and the father to my half-siblings she had with him once I was already moved out.”

However, her mom has been living under the illusion that her latest husband is such a role model father. Owing to that, she told OP that he should walk her down the aisle on her wedding day. But OP said no. She told her mom that he could walk their own children down the aisle someday but not her since he’s never been a father to her.

It was a double whammy since, apparently, her stepdad has been also waiting to accept this privilege. OP continued to relate, “He was acting like he expected it too and was talking about how I’d need to be introduced to some of his friends and coworkers so when I invite them, they identify me as his daughter. I thought it was crazy. The man is not my parent, and he’s only family on a technicality, but we are not close, we hardly see each other ever.”

But in spite of this reality, OP’s mom and family joined together to make her feel miserable for being an ungrateful and disrespectful person. Her maternal grandparents had also called her up to convince her, reminding her of how kind her stepdad has been to her mom and to them, OP and her stepsiblings.

OP answered that she’s appreciative of her stepdad for taking care of her mom and their family. But she told her maternal grandparents that she already asked her dad’s brother to walk her down the aisle, which really means a lot to her.

Did they try to understand her? None from her mother’s side did.

But the members of the AITA community were more sympathetic to this bride.

A comment from itsathrowawayduhhhhh says, “NTA! Wow, their reactions are annoying and weird! If he was in your life since you were a baby, sure, maybe I could understand it. But you were already moved out when he came into the picture! Sorry they’re being so ridiculous about this, try not to let it ruin your special day.”

Another meaningful remark from robottestsaretoohard says, “How is ‘taking care of OPs mom’ and producing children doing anything for OP? He acts like being a decent husband and dad is a major sacrifice worthy of adulation and praise. NTA. I hate it when parents try to force their new spouses on their kids. Just stop.”

Bluedoork also shared a nugget of wisdom: “This is a huge lesson everyone needs to learn. Kindness is only kindness if it is done without strings attached, without expectation of something in return, without an agenda. This includes acts of kindness, gifts, maintaining relationships, giving your time. You aren’t being kind if you turn around and say, ‘Well I did that for you/bought that for you, so now you need to do this for me.’ That is just being manipulative.”