Bride to Brother and Jealous Wife: Don’t My Fiance and I Have the Right to Our Own Dream Wedding?

“Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me
I think they’re OK
If they don’t give me proper credit, I just walk away
They can beg and they can plead
But they can’t see the light, that’s right
‘Cause the boy with the cold hard cash is always Mister Right
‘Cause we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl”

Photo: Pexels/Andrea Piacquadio

In this family’s eyes, Madonna’s hit song Material Girl best describes this Redditor’s brother’s wife. Her brother is of good character with a successful career, while his wife is not really a bad person except for a major flaw, which has now caused a rift in their family.

But this bride is not going to give up on her fiance’s dream to grant her a most ideal wedding.

Here is her story, published on Reddit’s popular r/AmItheA–hole forum with the username u/latenightswithreddit: “I’m (29f) from a middle-class family and have an older brother (35m), let’s call him Adrian. He is a self-taught software engineer and makes pretty good money. A little over 1 year ago, he married his girlfriend (28f) of 6 years, let’s call her Heather. She’s not a bad person, but I think she’s a little bit spoiled. She’s the type that loves to brag about all the expensive stuff her husband bought her, and their wedding was pretty extravagant. She still loves to talk about how it was the most amazing wedding she’s ‘ever been to.’ My brother is kind of wrapped around her finger, but it never really mattered until now.”

Photo: Pexels/RODNAE Productions

So, when did the conflict arise? According to OP, she met her boyfriend four years ago, and he’s the owner of a very successful business. Since he grew up in a poor family, he now makes up for it by giving his loved ones the life and things they once only dreamed of.

Yes, OP’s boyfriend is extremely rich, and recently he proposed marriage to her. Of course, OP was overjoyed. But she didn’t expect what her fiance wanted next.

“He wants to go all out and hired a somewhat well-known wedding planner to arrange everything. Honestly, I’m pretty excited. I never dreamed of such a luxurious wedding, but now that it’s happening, it feels like I’m living some wild dream I never even dared have. Like textbook fairytale,” OP related in her post.

Photo: Pexels/TranStudios Photography & Video

However, OP didn’t expect that her “Material Girl” SIL would create drama at a family gathering she attended. They were in the living room when her mom began asking about OP’s wedding preparations. And so, OP shared the details with Heather, who turned pale and then red upon hearing how luxurious her wedding would be.

The following day, OP’s brother called up to tell her about his wife getting extremely upset because she felt that OP wanted to one-up her wedding. OP was surprised to hear about her SIL’s allegation that she wanted to upstage her, because she never said that she wanted a luxurious wedding before. It was her fiance who wanted to have an ideal wedding as a gift to her and their families.

What happened next? OP wrote, “He asked me if we could tone it down so it doesn’t exceed the budget they had for their own wedding. I laughed, because, honestly, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, and then I naturally said no. He sounded upset and hung up. A few hours later, Heather calls, and she starts yelling at me, repeating mostly the same stuff, saying she knew I was always jealous of her and I’m only with my fiance because he’s rich and I want to rub it in her face. That made me snap, and I said ‘if you’re that obsessed with money, maybe you should have married someone else instead of my brother – if anyone’s jealous of someone, it’s you.'”

Photo: Pexels/Nataliya Vaitkevich

Her SIL screamed at OP again, then hung up the phone crying. As a result, of course, her brother got angry with OP for telling his wife that she should have married someone richer.

OP’s family was on their side, too, telling her that she had been harsh on her SIL when they all knew she’s always been materialistic. Now they were requesting her to lower her wedding budget to regain peace in the family.

OP’s response? “I don’t want to. My fiance definitely doesn’t want to. But I don’t know if that makes me an AH or not?”

In this case, the members of the AITA community sided with her. No one should dictate the kind of wedding she and her fiance planned to have.

Photo: Pexels/Jonathan Borba

From Curious-One4595: “NTA. Bad behavior should not be appeased. It should be ignored or called out, depending on the circumstances. Shame on your parents and brother for being mad at the unwitting boat rocker. Hold your course. Your wedding has nothing to do with hers. Weddings are joyous celebrations to be shared, whether the budget is $1,000 or 50,000. You are having the wedding you want, and it’s not a competition, and it’s too bad she is causing family discord. The issue is how you keep your family peaceful and together in the face of her polarizing bad behavior and lack of apparent shame. Probably best you ignore her unreasonable demands and offer the true and simple observation that your wedding has nothing to do with hers and it’s a shame she has made it a competition.”

From Yikes44L: “Plus, this wedding isn’t just for OP’s family, it’s for the groom’s family too, so that they can have a big family celebration for once in their lives.”

From calling_water: “She’s also being sexist in assuming that the fancy wedding is being driven by OP. It’s something OP’s fiance wants. Grooms get to have wedding dreams too.”

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