Buckle up, folks. This one is quite a long story.
It involves an established relationship, cheating, and trauma. It’s fit for a short film, if not for the fact that it’s real and that the person who wrote it was hurt.
So we have the main character, OP, who’s been with her boyfriend for 7 years already.
She posted on the subreddit TrueOffMyChest, which is a safe space for people to speak their minds and just share whatever they want to in order to “let it all out” without being judged.
And OP just announced in the subreddit that she was breaking up with her boyfriend because of one question that OP’s boyfriend randomly asked.
“We were chilling at his place, and out of nowhere he asked me if I could ever raise someone else’s child,” OP wrote.
What made this question weird for OP was that her boyfriend knew that she didn’t want kids. OP’s boyfriend then explained that the hypothetical kid would be coming from another person that her partner would have had an affair with. (Warning signals can already be seen within the first paragraph of OP’s story.)
If you were ever asked this question by your significant other, you’d probably be weirded out as well, right? OP was speechless, “I don’t even know what I was feeling at that moment. Anger? Confusion?”
The boyfriend clarified that the child was innocent in all of this (of course), in hopes that maybe that was the root of OP’s negative reaction, but she’s starting to get angry at this point of her story. OP asked if this was her boyfriend’s way of telling her something, and the boyfriend responded with anger, wondering how OP could even assume that he’d be able to do that to her and said that it was just an innocent question.
OP left the boyfriend’s house because she felt like throwing up, and she mentioned that she spent a notable amount of time alone in her place and not responded to anyone, including her boyfriend and their mutual friends, who were asking her to give the boyfriend a chance and to hear him out.
“I just feel so drained and mad. He went from trying to say that the child is innocent to saying he’s sorry to telling me I’m overreacting and so on.”
This is where she decided to break up with him, as she doesn’t think that she’ll be able to fully trust her boyfriend after the event, even if the question was completely innocent.
OP now gives us a quick background on her family’s history with cheating. The ex knew that OP lost her grandpa because he was cheated on, and her grandma also had a history of abuse by a cheating man.
“Even if I am in fact overreacting, this question planted some ugly thoughts into my mind that I don’t think I can get rid of. I’m gonna throw down the drain a 7-year-old pretty much perfect relationship because of a stupid question.”
Trauma is a powerful enemy.
The original post ends here but a ton of updates have been made.
To acknowledge some of the comments, OP wrote that she knows that she has issues and that she needs to work on them but “cheating is and will always be a touchy subject for me, and he KNEW how it triggered me, which is why I had that reaction. I’m not trying to excuse it, but I’m just explaining why.”
Honestly, I’m fine with how she handled the situation. I didn’t think she overreacted. First off, the then couple was just chilling when the question was suddenly asked. And a rather questionable move was made by their mutual friends when they were trying to reach out to OP. I mean, OP wrote that they were “reaching out and telling me to hear him out” and it feels like they knew something that she didn’t.
Anyway, another update was added. Again, OP acknowledges the comments and agreed that her reaction might have been over the top and that she should hear the ex out, so OP met with the ex and they talked.
Lo and behold, the ex eventually admitted that he cheated and told OP that it was a mistake, that it only happened once, and that the woman he cheated with ended up pregnant and wanted to keep the child. The ex claims that he still loves OP and didn’t want to lose her, but he also wanted to raise his child with her. The ex said that he can’t imagine raising a child with anyone other than OP. (Good on the ex for not abandoning his child, but still…)
The ex also told OP that he was hoping that OP might see their situation as an opportunity, even if OP was afraid of getting pregnant. He apparently said that OP “might agree to it because someone else was delivering the baby.” Hm.
OP left, blocked all their mutual friends, and blocked the ex.
After all this, I still think that OP can’t be faulted for reacting the way she did. She acknowledges her issues here that the comments section has pointed out. Even in her latest update, she ends her post by saying, “maybe some of you were right when you said that he dodged a bullet because I would have been a terrible stepmom probably.”
Read the original post below.