Couple Is At An Impasse Because One Is Extremely Allergic To Cats While The Other Is A Cat Mom
What would you do if your significant other asked you to give away your beloved pet?
Of course, it always depends on the circumstances, but most people would immediately shut the idea down, even if it’s for the sake of your partner.
“AITA for asking my girlfriend to give away her cat?”
I feel like I can hear people giving their verdicts as soon as they read the title…
Oh, boy. I fear it will only get worse from here, folks.
So OP and his girlfriend have been dating for almost 2 years and just recently decided to move in together. OP said it was a mutual decision, but he suggested that they move into his apartment because it was more spacious than his GF’s last place (which was a tiny studio apartment shared with roommates and was allegedly a toxic place).
“She and her cat, Riley, moved in, and it was great. She has had Riley for 8 years now, and it brought her tons of happiness. The issue is I am allergic to cats…like super allergic,” OP wrote.
You might be wondering why, in the 2 years of being in a relationship with a cat mom, OP is just now discovering that he’s allergic to cats. Apparently, OP’s been having mild allergy symptoms before, but he thought it was just from all the pollen in the vegetation in his GF’s apartment.
Now that they’ve moved in together, OP’s allergies have become severe, to the point that he’s having breathing problems. He tried different kinds of medication to combat his allergies, but none seemed to work for him.
All out of options, OP finally decided to ask his gf to give away her cat, who, in OP’s own words, brought his GF tons of happiness, and he knows how much the GF loves Riley.
Only, OP didn’t ask his GF right away.
“But, as I wanted Riley to have a great home, I made a list of possible people that could take her in and made sure they were all great people (yes, they confirmed they would take her in).”
All of those included in his list are people that they already know or those with lots of experience with cats. Note that Riley is a senior cat, so giving her away or taking her in isn’t an easy thing to do.
When OP finally asked his girlfriend, she was understandably upset.
When the girlfriend told OP that she wasn’t giving Riley away to an animal shelter, OP presented her with his curated list of candidates.
“I proposed this to her, and that’s when she got very angry at me and left the house with Riley. AITA?”
For not consulting his girlfriend first, OP definitely made the wrong move. It’s a good plan (if there were no other options and if the girlfriend agreed to give Riley away), but it was badly executed. Also, poor Riley is a senior cat that deserves to live the rest of her life comfortably with her human.
“As for the list, I just wanted to make sure Riley was safe, as she is an old cat. I realize now this may have been a bad idea, as it cornered my gf. That was not my intention. I did not intend to do that; I just wanted to give her options,” OP added in an update.
From the many comments that his post got, OP said that the best suggestion that he got is to make some “no-go zones” for Riley and to get air purifiers in their apartment.
And to perfectly sum up the majority of comments, one Redditor said, “Honestly, it sounds like she might be more upset that you put so much thought into this (making a list of potential re-homes) before even asking her. You counted your chickens before they hatched.”
Again, OP’s solution might have been an a-hole move, but he isn’t necessarily evil. He had a severe allergy and tried multiple medications but failed, and he thought that asking his girlfriend to give away her cat was his only option left.
Read the original post below.
AITA for asking my girlfriend to give away her cat?
by in AmItheAsshole