Redditor Made Homemade Food For The Whole Family Except For Her Niece, But Is She Wrong?
Have you ever been called rude or snobbish when you’re just being quiet?
It’s a common problem for introverts to be labeled as such. Being nice and quiet doesn’t automatically mean you’re being disagreeable. This also happens to considerate people.
A perfect example of such a case would be this Redditor’s story.
“AITA for making homemade food for everyone except my brother’s stepdaughter?”
Looking at the title alone, you’d think that OP maliciously excluded her brother’s stepdaughter. But OP was just being careful.
Becca, the stepdaughter, has several health conditions – this includes celiac and a severe dairy allergy that requires the child to carry an epi-pen, OP mentioned. So Becca is sensitive to food, to say the least.
When OP hosted a dinner for her parents’ wedding anniversary, she made a fancy five-course dinner for her family. OP isn’t a stranger to making specialized meals for certain diets, but she wanted to play it safe for her brother’s stepdaughter.
“I found a restaurant in town that specializes in gluten-free, dairy-free (as well as other allergen-free) food, and arranged for them to make a full meal for Becca that I could pick up in advance of the party,” OP wrote. “…Knowing how serious Becca’s restrictions were, I didn’t trust myself to make her meal.”
She further added that she has ADHD and can get easily distracted. She was worried that she would forget and allow cross-contamination to occur, which could be fatal. To add more stress, it’s been said that flour can stay in the air for up to 2 days and can land anywhere in the kitchen.
In other words, OP is just really being careful, and her top priority while planning her fancy family dinner is her niece’s safety.
When OP finally served the food to her family and Becca’s mom saw what was served to her daughter, she wasn’t happy. OP got called to the kitchen and was confronted by her brother about it.
“When we got there, he said that it was ‘unbelievable’ that I couldn’t be bothered to make something for Becca,” OP wrote. Her brother also implied that OP didn’t care about making Becca feel like a part of the family and this was her obvious way of excluding her.
Becca and her parents left after that, and now OP is wondering if she was wrong in going the safer route of ordering from a restaurant instead of putting more effort into cooking for her niece.
“I let my anxiety about making Becca sick get the better of me,” OP added as her reason for why she might be the a-hole.
Reddit’s verdict is that OP is not the a-hole. I agree. Again, she was being considerate and keeping it safe for the sake of her niece.
As the top comment said, “You were incredibly thoughtful in how you handled ensuring she had a meal suitable for her. You have ADHD and are well aware that mistakes are so easily made, so to ensure you didn’t seriously put this child’s health in danger, you decided the safest option was to contact a restaurant to provide something.”
Maybe Becca’s parents only reacted in the moment and responded poorly to OP’s efforts of keeping their daughter safe, and, hopefully, they already talked about it and sorted everything out. There’s been no update, but the OP has responded to a lot of comments in the original post below.
AITA for making homemade food for everyone except my brother’s stepdaughter?
by u/Alarming-Money-3543 in AmItheAsshole